


Pureblood

by CricketCat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Captured!Lily, Captured!Remus, DARK HOGWARTS, Dark Arts, Dark Lord Harry Potter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts years, Hurt/Comfort, James is a rebel, Jily get together, Lily doesn't go to Hogwarts, Lily is in dungeons under Hogwarts, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV James Potter, POV Lily Evans Potter, POV Remus Lupin, POV Sirius Black, Prison, Prisoner!Lily, Prisoner!Remus, Remus Lupin has Self-Esteem Issues, Remus doesn't go to Hogwarts, Remus is in dungeons under Hogwarts, Resistance Fighter!James, Resistance Fighter!Sirius, Slow burn fic, Teen!James, Teen!Lily, Teen!Remus, Teen!Sirius, Torture, Voldemort rules the world before Marauders, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, Wolfstar get together, Year round fic, Young!Remus, Young!Sirius, baby wolfstar, jily, long fic, pureblood, sirius is a rebel, wolfstar, young!James, young!Lily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22159978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CricketCat/pseuds/CricketCat
Summary: The war was over before it had even begun.The Dark Lord took power swiftly and mercilessly and everyone, no matter who they were, soon fell to him. Soon, Wizarding families had to make a choice: conform to Voldemort's rule or die. Many fled into hiding, hoping that someday the dark days would be over and the Resistance would fight back.This is the world that 11-year-old Sirius Black must find his way in. As he prepares for his first year of Hogwarts, Sirius realises that the legendary school is a very different place since Dumbledore had left. Now, it was a school where only the purest magical blood was accepted to be taught the Dark Arts in preparation for serving Voldemort. Anyone of any less were captured into slavery or killed on sight.But Sirius couldn't hate muggles. He couldn't loathe muggle-borns and half-bloods. He couldn't torture half-breeds. His parents expected him to become the Dark Lord's right-hand.So when Sirius befriends a young werewolf by the name of Remus Lupin locked in the dungeons deep underneath Hogwarts, it changes everything...
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 49
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this story is an AU of a darker Hogwarts. Voldemort had taken power 10 years before the Marauders were due to attend Hogwarts and so the world they grow up in is very different to the story we all know and love...

"Sirius!" The call came from his mother who was standing at the foot of the stairs. "Get your trunk down here now! We have to go!" Sirius Orion Black sighed, packing the last of his clothes into his trunk before shutting it and locking the lid closed. Quickly grabbing his cloak and scarf, he wrapped himself up ready to face the brisk autumn weather, only just remembering to tuck his wand in his pocket that was lying on his bedside table. He didn't know what was the matter with him. He should be excited! Hogwarts was meant to be amazing and yet some part of Sirius was dreading getting on that train.

Since the end of the war ten years ago, the world had changed a lot. Of course, Sirius was only a tiny one year old when the Dark Lord took power but his mother and father always told him the stories of how awful the world was before. Apparently muggles knew nothing of the existence of wizards and strolled around free and without a care. There were muggle-born witches and wizards who mother said had stolen their wands from purebloods because they wanted to be magical. Worse were the terrifying stories his father always told him of half-breeds who apparently ripped people apart. 

But there was something about these stories that Sirius always found...well, wrong. He just couldn't understand why muggles were so horrible. It wasn't like they had ever attacked wizards, was it? At least, not recently. And when his father told him stories about werewolves and half-giants, all he could think of was how terrible it must be for the people who had to suffer with those conditions. He couldn't imagine how painful it must be for a werewolf when they were forced to change every full moon. He even said so to his parents but quickly learnt that perhaps he should keep those opinions to himself.

When his Hogwarts letter came, Sirius felt nothing but dread. His mother always spoke proudly of all the prisoners that were kept in the dungeons under the castle. She even spoke of some that she herself captured. "You'll learn a lot, Sirius," she told him. "Dark Magic is important to learn if you are going to serve the Dark Lord. So it's important to practise hard, especially when your professors give you the chance to practise on a half-breed or mudblood. Those are always the best lessons because then you'll get to show your talent to the Dark Lord." Sirius just nodded and swallowed the bile that rose up in his throat. 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Sirius clapped his hands and summoned Kreacher who apparated into the room. "Kreacher, take my trunk downstairs," he ordered as Kreacher bowed.

"Of course, Master Sirius," he croaked, grabbing hold of the trunk and disappearing again. Sirius took one last look of his room before closing the door and joining his mother and father downstairs.

"Now, you work hard, Sirius," Orion said, straightening out Sirius's robes and tie. "The Dark Lord expects a lot of you. You better not disappoint."

"I won't, sir," Sirius replied, keeping his voice neutral. Orion nodded, holding out his hand for Sirius to shake. 

"I cannot accompany you to the station," he told Walburga. "The Dark Lord has asked to see me and I must obey. I shall see you at Christmas, Sirius." After bidding his wife goodbye, Orion left the 12 Grimmauld Place without a second glance at his eldest son. Sirius swallowed hard as his father left, looking up at his mother who just pressed her lips into a firm line. 

"Come along, Sirius," she said. "We mustn't be late for the train. I shall fetch your brother." So Sirius was left standing in the hallway, looking around the place he was forced to call home and wishing that there was someone else in this world that understood what he was feeling.

***

The ride to Platform 9 and three quarters was a short and silent one. Regulus refused to speak to Sirius for the entire journey, staring stubbornly out of the window. They had never been that close, the brothers, but still Sirius felt a bit upset that Regulus didn't seem to want to say goodbye to him.

After ordering Kreacher to put Sirius's trunk on the baggage carriage, Walburga hurried her children through Kings Cross Station, which was as empty as it had been when Voldemort had attacked it ten years before, and pushed them both through the wall to the Hogwarts Express. 

Sirius looked around nervously at the platform, which seemed quieter than he had imagined. There was the train with some of the new first years like him crowded around it. Then the older students were standing outside the carriages, seemingly holding checklists and asking the name of each and every student that boarded the train to make sure they were who they said they were. Ahead, Sirius spotted his Aunt Druella bidding goodbye to Narcissa and Andromeda. His cousin Bellatrix wasn't there, probably off grovelling over the Dark Lord somewhere. 

"Now, on the train you can sit with Narcissa and her fiancé, Lucius," Walburga informed Sirius, tiding her son up for the last time. "They will tell you what to expect when you arrive. Try to avoid anyone you find suspicious, Sirius. The Dark Lord for some reason decided to allow some half-bloods into the school. Apparently they have all sworn their allegiance and are useful to him in some way, but I do not pretend to understand or like the Dark Lord's reasons for letting scum like that near purebloods. Do not make friends with anyone unless they are pure, do you understand me?"

"Yes, mother," Sirius muttered, his voice monotone. He had heard it a hundred times before even if he didn't believe in it. She nodded then pushed him forwards. 

"Run along then," she said. "Behave." Sirius took his opportunity. Saying goodbye one last time, he spun on his heel and almost ran to the nearest train compartment. He gave his name to the seventh year prefect who raised an eyebrow as she ticked him off the list.

"Sirius Black, huh?" she said. "You're going to be popular with the professors. They always love a member of the Sacred Twenty Eight." Sirius didn't say anything, only clambered up into the carriage and headed off to find a compartment. 

The train had left before he found one that was relatively empty. Every compartment either had a group in it or a couple. At one point, Sirius did come across Lucius and Narcissa but they were snogging each other disgustingly and so he left. Eventually, he found a compartment with only one boy with round glasses currently occupying it. He was staring out of the window, looking just as glum as Sirius felt. Maybe he wouldn't be too bad? Not wanting to have to go back to his cousins, Sirius slid open the door and leaned his head inside.

"Hey," he said to the boy who turned round to look at him. "Do you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else has someone in it and to be honest, you're the only one that actually looks sane on this train."

"Yeah, sure," the boy shrugged, gesturing to the empty seat opposite him. Sirius smiled gratefully and sat down.

"I'm Sirius," he said, sticking out a hand. "Sirius Black."

"James Potter," the other boy replied, shaking his hand with a smile. "A Black, ey? Bet they let you in here just like that."

"Urgh, don't get me started," Sirius groaned. "Everyone expects great things of me but what they don't realise is that I hate my family and everything they stand for-" He stopped himself, covering his mouth quickly. Damnit, he wasn't meant to say that much. What if James knew his parents? What if his family worked for the Dark Lord too? Before Sirius could panic too much, James only chuckled.

"I never thought I'd hear a Black say that," he laughed. "I had to take entrance exams and everything to even get into Hogwarts. My parents weren't supporters of the Dark Lord before he won but because I'm a pureblood, the headmaster let me in. Only just, mind you. They didn't like much how my parents haven't pledge allegiance to the Dark Lord yet."

"You really had to take an exam?" Sirius asked in disbelief. "On what?" James shrugged again, running a had through his messy hair and adjusting his glasses.

"Just stuff like the Blood Purity Laws and the Dark Lord's rise to power," he answered. "Probably just making sure I'm not a threat. I did have to swear loyalty though. But between you and me, I don't really mean it. My dad said the Dark Lord is a lunatic." Sirius gasped but grinned.

"So you don't think muggles and muggle-borns are awful?" he asked. 

"What!? No!" James said, looking appalled. "Is that what your folks tell you? Muggles are actually really nice if you get to know them. A bit strange but nice. And muggle-borns are magical just like us."

"I thought I was the only one who thought that," Sirius said honestly. "It's good to know I'm not alone."

"Of course not," James said. "But I wouldn't go flaunting that opinion around. There's a lot of people round here that would tell the Dark Lord. He'll kill you if he found out. And me too. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone."

"I won't tell if you won't, eh?" Sirius said with a wink. James laughed again but nodded. 

"Alright then," he said. "At least I know I have one friend who isn't crazy."

"Oh, you haven't got to know me just yet, Potter," Sirius replied, a mad grin on his face. "Just you wait for all the pranks we'll get up to!"

James and Sirius talked for the entire journey there. Sometimes they talked of joyful things such as all the sweets they were going to buy from the Trolley Lady (who still worked there even if Dumbledore had long since left) but they also talked of sad things, like of all the killings going on recently. "The Death Eaters have really been cracking down on muggle-born witches and wizards," James said solemnly. "They found ten of them last week in hiding and killed the lot. My dad says it's horrible. Muggle-borns are equal to us."

"But there has to be more of them!" Sirius said. "I mean, there's hardly anyone on this train. Not like how it must have been like in the old days when everyone was welcome here. There are a few half-bloods but only the ones the Dark Lord approves. Where do all the muggle-borns and half-bloods go now? The one's that aren't killed, I mean." For a moment, James looked pensive, as if he wanted to answer Sirius's question but something held him back. Sirius didn't push him though. It probably wasn't important. Maybe James just knew a muggle-born or something and didn't want to tell. 

"Anyway, I think we'll be there soon," James said, trying to change the subject. "It's sad that they don't use the Sorting Hat anymore. Dad always said how cool it was to watch people getting sorted into houses."

"Voldemort doesn't want brave or kind or smart people," Sirius muttered. "He only wants evil and loyal. Better for him if kids were all just treated like that." James didn't have much to say after that and they both fell into silence as the train pulled into Hogsmede Station. They got off together, sticking close as the prefects pushed the first years forward towards the horseless carriages, packing them all onto them.

"It's meant to be boats," James muttered to himself but Sirius pretended not to hear. James seemed to know an awful lot about Hogwart's past...perhaps too much.

The castle came to view ahead and everyone gasped but not in wonder. Terror seemed to sweep across the first years at the sight of the dark fortress that was meant to be their school and home. Once they made it up to the castle, the older students split off to go to the Great Hall while the first years were met by fat older man. "Hello, first years," he said, his voice deep and somewhat cheerful despite the dark and sombre settings. "I am Professor Slughorn, your head of year and the potions master. Now in a moment I will take you into the Great Hall where you will sit on the first year table that I will direct you to. Then, Headmaster Rosier will give the welcome speech and we can have our feast." The professor paused a moment to clear his throat. 

"Now, as there are so few of you this year, your dormitories have simply been split between boys and girls." Sirius glanced around and saw that he was right, noticing that there was only about twelve first years. Not many at all, but then again with the conditions there now was to get into Hogwarts, he shouldn't have been surprise. "Now, can I ask all of you to get into pairs, boys only with boys and girls only with girls, and they will be your dormitory buddy in case you get lost."

There was a scramble for everyone to get who they wanted but James already latched onto Sirius's arm. "Do you mind?" he asked meekly. "I don't know anyone else really." Sirius was relieved too and nodded. Thank god for James, otherwise he'd get stuck with some pureblood fanatic. 

"A prefect will show you to your dormitory once the feast is over," Slughorn said. "Now, come with me!" 

Sirius swallowed hard as Slughorn took them through the main doors, up the stairs and into the Great Hall. There was a hush that fell over the students as the first years entered, looking a mixture of frightened or eager. The hall had seven circular tables dotted about the room, one for each year. Now that there were no houses, year was the only way to separate student. 

The first year table was at the front, right near the staff table where each professor glared at the new students, obviously trying to sort out the strong from the weak. Sirius swallowed hard. This place was horrible already. Once the twelve first years were all settled, Slughorn went and took his place at the staff table where a sinister blonde haired man stood up.

Headmaster Rosier was about to make his speech.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius feels lonely so he decides to explore, only to find himself in the dungeons and bumping into a young boy locked away there...

"Welcome back to Hogwarts." Headmaster Rosier's speech began with that and yet Sirius didn't feeling very welcome. Rosier was a tall man, his hair a dirty blonde and his eyes icy blue. As he looked down from his stand on the first years, Sirius wanted nothing more than to shrink away. This man was evil and he knew it.

"I hope this year is filled with learning for you all," Rosier continued. "The Dark Lord must have able and capable servants and so if you are to secure the best positions at his side I suggest you all listen and obey." He paused for a moment, staring down at the first year table. "For those of you that are new, there are some rules. You are expected to attend each class and maintain a good grade average. You are not to question your professors for they have been put in place by the Dark Lord. There is a curfew at 8 o'clock each night so no students out of bed after that. However, the most important rule is that you are forbidden from entering the dungeons at any time unless you are with a member of staff and have written permission. There are many prisoners we keep in the dungeons and they are dangerous to your pure magical blood. If you want to practise your spells on a specimen then ask a professor to bring one up for you. Otherwise you must never go down there. Failure to comply with the rules will mean severe punishments."

The silence rang around the hall as everyone stared up at the headmaster. Looking around, Sirius could tell that there were two types of student at Hogwarts - those who loved the Dark Lord and those who were too scared to speak their own opinion. It became apparent that he needed to decide which one he wanted to be.

"Now, enjoy the feast."

The only good part about the evening was the food which was as delicious as Sirius always imagined a Hogwarts feast would be. Judging by James's face, he was right to be excited. Conversations had begun around the Great Hall, filling it with the kind of noise Sirius had expected. Yet still, there seemed to be a darkness that hung over Hogwarts that didn't quite belong. This should have been a happy place but it clearly hadn't been for a decade, perhaps since the old Headmaster Dumbledore went missing. 

As the curfew approached, students began to leave their tables and head to their dormitories. Two prefects, one boy and one girl, came to collect the first years from their seats and took them up the moving staircases, explaining the patterns along the way. 

"We're headed to Gryffindor Tower," James said excitedly. Unfortunately for him, the boy prefect heard him and clipped him round the head. 

"We don't call it that," he hissed as James looked up at him, clearly shocked. He obviously had never been hit before. Sirius was jealous of the thought. "It's called Pureblood Tower now. You would do well to remember that." James fell silent after that but Sirius put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. 

The way to get into 'Pureblood Tower' was by pricking your finger and pressing a drop of blood onto a stone basin. Sirius watched in fascination as the blood seemed to move on it's own towards the centre of the stone then sunk into it. "Only pure blood will allow you to enter," the girl prefect said as the basin dropped into the floor and an empty portrait swung open to reveal the first year common room. "Are there any half-bloods on scholarship here?"

One boy raised his hand timidly. Sirius looked over him, a frown on his face. He had long, black, greasy hair which seemed to hang around his face like a curtain. His nose was much too large for his other features and his clothes extremely shabby. The boy caught Sirius staring and sneered at him, making him blink in surprise. There was no need to be rude.

The girl prefect nodded but looked suspicious. "You'll have to say your password instead," she said. "Your head of year will give it to you each month. For now we'll just let you in normally."

The first years were guided through to the common room where the prefects explained it was where they could do their homework or just chat. "The boy's dormitories are to the left and the girl's to the right. As you're a small group, you'll be able to have a room each as there are seven floors in the tower. We'll leave you now to settle in."

Sirius and James were on the dormitory steps first, hurtling up to the top floor in a race. The two boys laughed as they ran until they reached the top, Sirius reaching the top room first. "I win!" He exclaimed, laughing breathlessly. James smirked at him and went down the few steps that separated the sixth and seventh floor.

"At least I'll be next door then," he said, opening up his room. Sirius did the same, noticing that as he stepped through his trunk suddenly appeared. The room was huge, obviously meant to house at least six students. The only bed was placed by the back wall, the rest of the room a cold and empty space other from the bathroom. Sirius hated it. He hated the loneliness of it. It was just too empty.

Stepping back out into the stairwell, Sirius ran down to James's room to find it much in the same state as his. "This is rubbish," James said to him once he realised Sirius was standing in the doorway. "We should be all together, not separate."

"Not enough students, too much space to fill," Sirius said. "It's definitely horrible." James hummed in agreement. "I don't know, maybe when we learn a shrinking charm we could shrink your bed and bring it up to my room? Then at least we'll both have a mate?" Sirius suggested, hating to see his new friend all glum. This was definitely not what James had expected of Hogwarts, Sirius knew, so he wanted to make it better for him. Immediately, James brightened up at the idea.

"Yeah," he said. "That would be great."

Despite the awful day, Sirius went to bed knowing that he at least wouldn't be alone in this horrible school. But he couldn't sleep. The bed just wasn't comfortable, the room was too silent. Everything was wrong. His head was filled with questions. Why weren't they allowed out past 8 o'clock? What was so bad about questioning his professors? But Sirius kept going back to one question over and over again: why were the dungeons so forbidden?

Against his better judgement, Sirius decided that he should find out just that.

Wrapping a cloak around himself, he crept down the stairs, through the empty common room then out into the halls. Everywhere was silent and dark, only the moonlight through the windows to guide him as he wandered down the stairs. He passed the Dark Arts classroom, the Transfiguration room and eventually found himself at the foot of the stairs for the dungeons. That was where he hesitated. Rosier had clearly said not to go down here without a member of staff so that meant that it probably was dangerous. But surely if they were all behind bars then he'd be safe? He wanted to know what kind of prisoners the Dark Lord kept down there and why they were so terrible. After all, if Sirius was going down there for a learning experience...well, the professors could hardly say no, could they?

Sirius slowly walked down the steps, making sure he was as quiet as possible. Once he reached the bottom, he followed the long corridor lit by burning torches until he reached an iron gate. To his surprise, it was open and unguarded, allowing him to slip into the dungeons unseen. 

The dungeons were huge. It was a long stone corridor lined on both sides with cells each occupied with someone or something. Each cell was cut off from the corridor with iron bars, stone walls in-between each one so prisoners couldn't talk to each other. It was cold too, so cold that Sirius could already feel the freezing temperatures seep into his bones. He put his hand to his mouth as he walked through the dungeons, peering into each cage to see muggles huddled up in corners and beautiful creatures in chains. Most appeared to be asleep on the straw that was provided but some were awake, staring at him with vacant and tortured eyes. Some even tried to reach out to Sirius to beg for help.

Sirius all but ran to the end of the dungeons to try and find a way out of the nightmare. He had to be dreaming, he thought. This was too horrific to be real. But all he found at the end was a brick wall stopping him from going any further. He turned back, thinking he might throw up if he stayed here any longer but a voice stopped him.

"Are you alright?" Sirius almost jumped out of his skin, his wand slipping into his hand despite the fact he knew absolutely no defensive spells at all. The voice seemed to have come from the cell to the left and Sirius slowly approached bars, swallowing nervously.

"Who's there?" He asked, trying to make himself sound menacing. It seemed to have the desired effect because as he got closer, Sirius could see the figure of a boy crouched down in the back of the cell. "Who are you?" Sirius called out again. "Come closer."

"What will you do if I do?" the boy said softly. Sirius was slightly taken aback. The slight tremor to the boy's voice sounded like he was scared of Sirius. But why would he be scared? Sirius wasn't going to hurt him. 

"Just talk to you," he replied. "Sorry if I sounded scary. It's just...well, you scared me first, you see." There was silence for a moment but then the figure came closer, shuffling through the straw until he was just by the bars. The light from the nearest torch hit his face and it took everything in Sirius not to gasp. 

The boy was clearly his age, his hair a light hazel brown colour with chocolate eyes. His clothes were tattered though, only just held together by the threads they were made from. He was thin as well. Sirius wanted to grimace at how prominent the boy's cheek and collar bones were. No doubt he could probably count his ribs as well. Trailing up to his face again, Sirius tried not to stare at the horrible dark shadows under the boy's eyes or the awful scars that cut across his skin. Try as he might, though, the boy caught him staring and shrank back into the shadows again, hiding himself away.

"No, wait!" Sirius said, scrambling forwards to hold onto the bars. "Wait, I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to scare you. It's just...well, I didn't think you'd be so young." In the dark, Sirius could just about make out the boy looking sceptical, like he knew Sirius was lying. Sirius sighed, crouching down and sitting cross-legged on the floor. "Look, maybe we could start again? I think we both made a bit of a mess." He stuck his hand through the bars. "I'm Sirius Black." From the darkness, Sirius could only just see the boy's chocolate eyes which watched him fearfully. Finally, he crept forwards again, sitting just on the edge of the light. Sirius smiled at him, trying to look as nice as possible. 

The boy tentatively reached out, shaking Sirius's hand. "Remus Lupin," he whispered.

"Nice to meet you, Remus," Sirius said with a grin. 

"Nice to meet you too, Sirius," Remus replied shyly, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them close to him. He looked down at the floor just beyond him. "So what brings you here then? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I should be, yes," Sirius said. "But I couldn't. It's my first night here."

"Do you miss home?" Remus asked softly.

"Merlin, no," Sirius laughed. "Home is not that homely, believe me. I think it's because I already don't like it here. I don't believe in the whole pureblood thing but it seems most of the school does. I just hate it here alre-" Sirius cut himself off, suddenly realising that he had no right to complain about the school when sitting in front of him was someone who was locked up in the dungeons. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't be complaining."

"No, it's alright," Remus said, scooting a little closer to the bars. "I don't mind hearing about it."

"But here I am complaining when you're..."

"Locked up?" Remus gave a faint smile, looking down again. "It's okay, Sirius. You don't have to tip toe around it." Sirius licked his lips, swallowing hard.

"How-er," he began awkwardly. "How long have you been here?" Remus looked up, clutching his hands together. 

"Here? About six months," he replied. "But captured as a whole? Almost two years now. They moved me from place to place for ages until I ended up here."

"Two years?" Sirius echoed. "That's awful. I mean, you seem nice, Remus, and not dangerous at all. Why on earth would you be a threat? Why would anyone in this dungeon be a threat?" Remus suddenly looked uneasy, shifting slightly. He clearly didn't want to talk about it and so Sirius decided not to push. He didn't want to scare his new friend again. Noticing that Remus was shivering slightly, Sirius frowned and undid his cloak.

"Hey, do you want this for a little bit while we talk?" he asked, pushing the cloak through the bars. Remus looked surprised, his hands running over the soft material of the cloak in fascination. "It's okay, you can use it," Sirius added. "I don't mind."

"Thank you," Remus said, wrapping the cloak around himself. It was a bit big for his thin frame but it would do for now. Sirius thought to himself that he should bring Remus an extra blanket next time he came down here (because now he knew there would definitely be a next time). 

Suddenly there was a sharp clang as the metal gate right down the end of the dungeons was pushed open. Sirius jumped up in surprise, recognising the voice of Headmaster Rosier at the end. "Oh Merlin's beard," he said. "They're going to find me."

"Sirius," Remus said, also standing up. "There's a tunnel just below that big stone there. It will take you out." Sirius turned frantically and stood over the stone Remus was pointing to. Bending down, he found that the stone wasn't actually stone at all, but a different, lighter material that he could lift up. Below, just as Remus had said, there was a gap with a ladder below that Sirius quickly scrambled into. 

"Wait, Sirius!" Remus whispered. "You forgot your cloak!"

"Keep it," Sirius replied. "You need it more than I do. I'll come back tomorrow night!"

"But-"

"Bye, Remus!" And Sirius pulled the fake stone over his head just in time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and James make a new friend, the first Dark Arts lesson did not go well and Sirius decides to introduce the boys to Remus...

"I can't believe you went down to the dungeons last night!" James whispered excitedly to Sirius over breakfast the next morning. Sirius gave him a tired smile as he tucked into his eggs and bacon, rolling his eyes at his friend's excitement. They had both been the first up in the morning and decided to head down to breakfast while they were waiting for the rest of the first years to come downstairs. By mid-breakfast, all of the girls had managed to find their way down but there were still three boys missing, including that rude half-blood boy from last night. 

"I mean, are you going to go back?" James kept going on. 

"I think so," Sirius said, nodding. "That kid I found, he seemed really nice. And it really is horrible down there. Maybe he could use a friend?" James grinned at him, giving him a slight shoulder nudge. Sirius only rolled his eyes, ignoring the mad boy next to him and focused on his breakfast. Just as most people were about to go to classes, the remaining three boys were tearing down the stairs, their robes flapping behind them. 

"Slept in, did you?" James laughed, only going for a joke but the greasy-haired boy glared at him.

"Well you could have woken us up," he snapped, pushing past him and heading towards the potions classroom which was their first class. 

"Rude much," Sirius muttered. 

"Yeah, he's been like that all morning." James and Sirius turned to the smaller boy with straw like hair who had tumbled down the stairs with those who were late. His cheeks were bright red from exertion, obviously not much used to running like that. "His name's Severus Snape or something like that.

"More like Snivellus Snape if you ask me," James snickered, elbowing Sirius who laughed with him.

"Yeah," the other boy chuckled, only joining in after the other two had started laughing. "Yeah, Snivellus Snape!" 

"What's your name then?" James asked the boy, holding out his hand for him to shake.

"Peter Pettigrew," he replied. "And you two are James Potter and Sirius Black, aren't you? Ruddy brave you were last night when you told the prefect it was Gryffindor Tower. I thought you were awesome." James's smile widened at this as did Sirius's. It was clear their names were going to be remembered for a long time, and they hadn't even had their first lesson yet!

The three boys wandered down to the potions classroom, chatting excitedly with each other as they went. Peter came from a pureblood family (obviously) who had sworn allegiance to Voldemort when it became clear he was going to win the war, although the Pettigrew family kept their heads down throughout. Being a 'loyal pureblood', Peter had been given automatic acceptance into the school although just by talking with him, Sirius could tell he didn't exactly have a lot of brains. But he was a nice enough lad so Sirius decided he would be a good mate. His mother was probably going to have a heart attack knowing the first two friends Sirius had made were not avid supporters of the Dark Lord. But then again, she had only ordered that he make friends with purebloods, which he had done so she didn't have much to complain about.

Well, except Remus. But she wouldn't know about Remus. Not now and not ever. 

In fact, Remus was all Sirius really thought about during potions. It was clear to him that Slughorn was a total bore and potions really wasn't his thing, so he spent the class doodling on his parchment and thinking about the boy locked up in the dungeons. Remus was certainly a mystery. He had spent two years in the captivity of the Dark Lord and yet had been really shady about why. He couldn't have been a muggle because surely he would have told Sirius that and he definitely wasn't a magical creature either. So why exactly was he locked down there? Was he a muggle-born wizard or a half-blood? But either of those would have been in slavery or killed on sight, unless he was a loyal half-blood which Remus clearly wasn't. And then there were those scars that crisscrossed over his face. Those were the most intriguing, but the boy was clearly sensitive about them and it made Sirius scared to ask. 

The class ended swiftly and the first years all trudged over to transfiguration next which was taught by Professor Flint. She was a short woman but packed a punch, shouting and glaring at every student who failed to complete her task. Poor Peter was yelled at so many times that Sirius thought he was going to faint on the spot as the first years tumbled out of the class to go to lunch. Charms was next where they learnt the lumos charm to help them in the dark. Professor Fawley was actually an okay teacher which made charms all the more better. Sirius actually enjoyed the lesson, thinking about maybe showing Remus later that night. He left charms in a fairly good mood until he realised what the last class of the day was. Double Dark Arts. Suffice to say that Sirius had not been looking forward to this class at all and by the looks of James's pale face, he felt the same.

They reached the dark arts classroom last, dawdling in and slumping into seats at the very back of the class. At the front, Sirius spotted the three other first year boys chatting excitedly including Evan Rosier (the son of the headmaster), Corban Yaxley and Severus Snape. Already, Sirius hated the sight of them. He was surprised at Snape though. Surely Rosier and Yaxley would have hated him because of his lineage. But no, they were talking to him like they were old friends. It was obvious that they were all dark.

Suddenly, the shutters all snapped closed, plunging the room into darkness. Next to him, Sirius felt James stiffen, his hand reaching for his wand in his pocket. What are you going to do, James? Sirius thought to himself. You don't know any defensive spells at all. 

"Good afternoon, first years," a silky smooth voices called from the front of the classroom. Sirius let his eyes adjust until he came face to face with his dark arts teacher. "I am Professor Avery, your dark arts teacher. This class is extremely important if you are going to go on and serve our Dark Lord well, so I suggest that you all pay attention if you wish to go unpunished." Sirius gulped. This man clearly took no nonsense. He had met him once before at a dinner party at the Malfoy's. Even at his young age then, Sirius remembered the hairs pricking up on the back of his neck and a shiver going down his spine in his presence. He felt the same now, staring up at the black-haired man whose face was hard and cold. 

"Now, for our first lesson we will be going over a jinx that you can use to attack someone if you come across a threat," Avery continued, turning to the chalkboard and writing the name of the jinx upon it. "It is only minor but are easy to accomplish and therefore provide a good starting point."

Sirius recognised the jinx written on the board as the finger-removing jinx. His mother had once threatened to use it on Kreacher when he forgot to bring out the sugar with the tea. Avery set them on the task of practising the wand movement and the pronunciation for the jinx before bringing them one by one up to the front. Rosier was the first to be called up and he performed a perfect finger-removing jinx on a spider that sat in Avery's desk. The professor applauded him as he sat down.

"Very good, Mr Rosier," he said. "Talented like your father. Who's next?" Each student went up to the front and attempted to perform the jinx. By the end of the class, only James, Sirius, Rosier and Snape had actually managed to perfect it. Some of the girls had managed to make a slash in spider but not sever one of it's legs completely, like Violeta Bulstrode. But Yaxley and Peter were the only two that hadn't managed it and were quickly called out and punished by Avery. 

As they walked to dinner that night, Peter had silent tears running down his face as he held his wrist which bore fresh, red marks were Avery had struck a stinging spell. 

"It'll be alright, Pete," Sirius said to him as they sat down at the first year table. "You'll get it eventually."

"What kind of class was that, though?" James hissed. "We're first years and already they're teaching us how to cut someone's fingers off? It's barbaric!"

"I'm with you, mate," Sirius said. "But if we're going to survive here, we might just have to go with it." James set his jaw, shaking his head with anger in his eyes.

"I hate this," he said. "This isn't learning real magic. This is learning how to be a mindless torturer!"

"Keep it down!" Sirius whispered, his eyes flicking nervously to the head table where the staff were seated. "We don't want to attract attention to ourselves." James scowled down at his plate, muttering under his breath to himself.

"Anyway," Sirius said, changing the topic. "I was thinking maybe we should go on an adventure tonight." Peter looked up at him, eyes wide with shock.

"An adventure?" He squeaked. "I don't want to get in trouble again, Sirius."

"We won't get in trouble, Pete," James said, turning his eyes up to meet Sirius's with a grin spreading across his face. "What did you have in mind, Black?" Sirius allowed himself to smirk.

"You boys wondered where the kitchens are?" He said. James laughed, his eyes bright with mischief. 

"I reckon we should find out," he said. "Can't be that hard to find them. How about we go tonight and steal ourselves a midnight snack, hey boys?" 

"Tonight?" Peter asked. "But we aren't allowed out of bed after hours! What if we're caught?!" Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"We won't be caught," he said. "Come on, Pete, lighten up a bit. It'll be fun." Peter looked nervous and bit his lip anxiously. But the excited look on the other two boy's faces pressured him and he found himself agreeing with what they were saying. Besides, food was food and Peter never missed a good opportunity to find a decent snack.

"Alright," he said. James's face broke out into a grin.

"Good," he said. "This will be so cool!" Sirius smiled and nodded, already thinking about the food they were going to steal and how Remus would love what Sirius was going to steal for him.

***

That night, Sirius, James and Peter all sneaked out of their dingy dormitories and successfully discovered the hiding place of the kitchens. James was the one to figure it out, telling the others that he had heard a rumor about fruit and a picture and put it together from there. Although Sirius was highly suspicious that James had 'heard' this rumor in the two days they had been here, he didn't complain as they stepped through the secret entrance and found themselves in a huge kitchen area.

After that, seeming as there were no house elves around, they helped themselves to plenty of food, mostly just the left overs from the feast that night. They talked and joked as they ate and for once, Sirius actually felt pretty happy. James and Peter were good mates and it seemed that they could make Hogwarts bearable, despite the awful classes and the pureblood mania. 

"Urgh," James groaned, throwing his head back and lying across the table as he clutched his stomach. "I am so full. I don't think I could ever eat again!" Rolling his eyes at his dramatic friend, Sirius picked up his plate and started loading it with food again.

"You can't still be hungry!" James exclaimed, laughing as Sirius was piling up the plate. 

"I'm not," Sirius assured him. "But Remus might be." 

"Who's Remus?" Peter asked, his voice muffled as he dug into his third slice of cake of the night. 

"The kid you found in the dungeons, right?" James asked, sitting up suddenly and looking concerned. "You're going back there?"

"Well yeah," Sirius said as if it were obvious. "I promised, didn't I?" 

"I suppose," James said reluctantly. "But you were almost caught last time. Do you really think it's a good idea to be going back so soon?"

"You don't have to come," Sirius pointed out. James looked conflicted, flitting his eyes to Peter who had once again become engrossed in his food and paid no heed to the conversation. But there was something else there too, something that Sirius couldn't quite put his finger on. It was the third time he had become suspicious of James in the last two days. Not that he doubted that James's intentions weren't good. It was just...something else. 

"Well? You coming or not?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. James looked to Peter but then sighed.

"Someone has to make sure you don't get yourself killed," he muttered, rising to his feet and pulling Peter up with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus meets the rest of the gang but is terrified they'll find out his secret...

It was another lonely night for Remus Lupin.

He sat in his cell, curled up on the straw that was provided by the house elves, and stared up at the ceiling as if it gave him all the answers. By now, he must have counted every brick on the walls at least ten times. He would have counted them again but the guards had come in and began torturing some poor muggle-born wizard in one of the cells down the corridor. The screaming was so horrible that Remus had to clench his hands over his ears to try and block it out. No matter how long he was down here for, no matter how many people he had seen murdered, no matter how many times he was tortured, he would never get used to the horror that was his everyday life. 

The only thing that provided him with any comfort was Sirius's cloak that Remus had wrapped around himself. He had hidden it under the straw this morning when the guards came in to give the prisoners their food for the day, but after that they usually didn't bother to come back down to the dungeons so Remus knew he was safe to use the cloak. He kept running his thin hands over the soft fabric, loving the feel of it on his skin and how it managed to keep him warm despite the cold autumn months drawing in. It was simply things like the touch of soft fabric, or the warm smile from a loved one that Remus missed the most. Sometimes, he would allow himself to imagine that he was back home, just sitting in the living room with his parents and talking with them. He'd let himself relax for just the tiniest of moments before cutting himself off. It was far too dangerous to let it go any further. 

Other than that, he simply lay on his side and stared at the tally marks he had made on the wall. He had made the first one the moment he was first thrown into this cell and he had carved one every day since, counting the days down every month until the...until the full moon.

Remus swallowed back bile, knowing the full moon was tomorrow, knowing that the guards would take him to that place again, knowing that once again he'd be subjected to a torture far worse than anything the guards could ever do to him. He tried not to think about it though. Just as his fantasies, his nightmares were just as dangerous. 

"Remus?" The whisper came from just outside the cell. The boy sat himself up gently, wincing at the aches and pains that were already wrecking his small body. Tentatively, he crawled forwards until he could make out the faint silhouette of the fascinating boy that had stumbled into the dungeons the night before.

"Sirius?" Remus said, hardly containing his smile. "I thought you wouldn't come..." He trailed off when he saw two more shadows emerge from the darkness from behind Sirius. Suddenly scared, Remus scrambled backwards until his shoulders hit the wall. He was stupid! Of course Sirius wasn't nice, of course he was just like all the other pureblood fanatics! He probably only came down to the dungeons yesterday just to see who he could get in trouble. They were probably going to beat him for even trying to speak to a pureblood! Already, Remus could feel the tears pricking in his eyes at his own stupidity.

"No, Remus, it's okay," Sirius said gently, his hand reaching through the bars. "It's okay. These are my friends, James and Peter. Don't worry, they won't hurt you." Remus was unsure, swallowing hard and trying to control his breathing in front of the three young wizards. What if this was a trick? What if they wanted to laugh and joke like students had done before? It honestly wouldn't surprise him if Sirius had arranged all this as some sort of practical joke, or perhaps on a dare from another student. Of course, no one would want to be friends with a monster like him. No one would even want to speak to one. 

"It's okay, Remus," Sirius said, noticing the panicked look in his eyes. Reaching behind him, Sirius seemed to pick up an object. Remus flinched, thinking that Sirius was about to cast a horrible curse upon him when the other boy pushed a plate under the bars.

A plate full of food.

"We...er, we thought you might be hungry," Sirius said, scratching the back of his neck. "Sorry, I didn't know what you liked so I got you a bit of everything really." Remus looked from the plate to the three boys then back again. If this was a joke, then it certainly was an elaborate one. Looking back to Sirius's face, Remus really couldn't see any malicious intent in his eyes. He often prided himself on being able to read someone and Sirius certainly didn't seem mean. Swallowing hard, Remus allowed himself to hope that perhaps Sirius really did want to be his friend. Of course he knew that Sirius could never know what he truly was; he'd never accept him then. But maybe, even if it was just for a little while, it wouldn't do any harm for there to be someone to talk to? Eventually, hunger won out and Remus slowly shuffled forwards, reaching out to a piece of toast and taking a small bite. Well, it wasn't poisoned at least, so Remus decided to dig in further. He was hungry after all, having only been fed once today but not at all yesterday. In this place, he should take food when he could get it, especially with a full moon coming up. The moons were always worse when the wolf was hungry...

"There, see?" Sirius said. "We weren't going to hurt you."

"Thank you," Remus said softly. He flicked his gaze to the two other boys who had also taken a seat on the stone floor. One was quite handsome with black, windswept hair and glasses balancing on his nose. He looked nice enough. The other had blonde hair and was smaller, his eyes nervous and flitting about the dungeon anxiously. He certainly wasn't the bravest out of the three of them then. "Oh...I'm Remus, by the way," Remus said, suddenly quite aware that he had forgotten to introduce himself. He may be a monster but the least he could do was have manners. "Remus Lupin."

"James Potter," the black-haired boy said, holding his hand through the bars for Remus to shake. He nodded his head to the other boy, rolling his eyes at his shaking form. "And this is Peter Pettigrew. Don't mind him, he's just scared we're going to get caught."

"It's nice to meet you both," Remus said, his voice quiet. 

"Likewise," Potter replied. "Sirius here hasn't shut up about you so I thought I should meet you." Remus blushed a little bit, wondering why on Earth Sirius would be talking about him. "Anyways, what I really want to know is why you're down here."

"James!" Sirius hissed, noticing Remus's violent flinch away from the personal question. "You can't just ask that!"

"What?!" James exclaimed. "It's a valid question!"

"You don't have to answer that, Remus," Sirius said, sending glares James's way. "Don't let this idiot pressure you. You can tell us when you want to." Remus only gave a small smile in response. He knew that Sirius wanted answers and yet he was nice enough to make sure no one pushed him. Suddenly, Remus felt a crushing sense of gratitude, one so powerful he was almost overwhelmed by it. It had been such a long time since he had felt any feeling other than fear or pain. He clung to that feeling of gratefulness, holding on as tightly as he could and relishing in it. 

"So, let's talk about something else then," Sirius said. 

"Like what?" Peter asked timidly. It was the first words Remus has heard the boy speak and he knew he was probably right in his assumptions that Peter was much more cautious than the other two boys.

"Like...like quidditch!" James said excitedly. "I love quidditch! What's your favourite team? Mine are the Chudley Cannons!" Sirius scoffed.

"The Chudley Cannons suck!" He laughed. "The Appleby Arrows are arrows are so much better. They slayed the Cannons last time they met!"

"Yet the Cannons have a better record overall," James countered.

"I think James is right," Peter piped up.

"See!" James said, grinning victoriusly. 

"You haven't won yet, Potter," Sirius smirked. "Remus, what do you think?" Remus had been so totally preoccupied with listening and watching the boys as they bickered he almost completely missed the question.

"Oh...I...I don't know any quidditch teams," he muttered, cheeks burning with shame and embarrassment.

"Oh," James looked slightly deflated but then immediately perked up. "That's fine, you can be an honorary member of the Cannons fans. So there, Black. We win."

"That's not fair!" Sirius protested. Remus sensed he would have argued further if not for the terrifying sound of the dungeon door squealing open and the sound of multiple footsteps approaching down the corridor.

"It's the guards!" Sirius whispered, his jovial expression evaporating.

"Quick, into the tunnel!" Remus said, pointing once more at false stone just opposite his cell. Just like the night before, Sirius dragged the false stone away to reveal the ladder that led down to the secret tunnel. Quickly, with James dragging a petrified Peter with him, Sirius pushed his two friends down.

"We'll see you tomorrow night, Remus!" Sirius said. "See ya!" Remus had no time to explain that he wouldn't be there the next night before the boys were gone, pulling back the false stone to cover their tracks.

Remus scrambled back to the corner of his cell, hiding Sirius's cloak which he had yet again forgotten to give back to the other boy. He had just lay down on the straw when the sound of footsteps stopped just outside the cell opposite him and light filled the corridor.

"Take the mudblood," a harsh voice commanded. "She will do nicely to fulfil the Dark Lord's bidding." Peeking open his eyes a fraction, Remus watched as two guards opened up the cell opposite and dragged out the poor muggle-born witch who occupied it. She didn't even scream as she was taken away, as if she had accepted her fate.

Once it was dark again, Remus lay on his back and again stared up at the ceiling. That was the second person they had taken from the dungeon in two days, and both had not returned. They were obviously doing something with them, something horrible and awful. Not wanting to think about it, Remus rolled over and tried to get as comfy as he could on the hard stones, using Sirius's cloak as a pillow for his stiff neck. He let his eyes close, blocking out his aches and pains.

That night, his dreams were filled with quidditch matches and snitches. It was the first proper night's sleep he had gotten in a while.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius settles into Hogwarts but then hears some disturbing news...

Three weeks into Hogwarts and Sirius could already tell that seven whole years here were going to be unbearable. With each and every class that the boys attended, they seemed to be getting more and more brutal with not only the amount of work that was piling up but also with punishments for slacking. Sirius and James had already earned at least three detentions for playing numerous pranks on the older students, including one where they set stink bombs on Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black when they too busy snogging in the corridor. The look on their faces was so priceless that the detention with Professor Avery and the numerous stinging charms that followed was almost worth it. 

Almost.

Although the detentions could be rather painful, Sirius had something else on his mind entirely. The three boys had been going down to the dungeons each night now to see Remus. For some reason, all of them had grown attached to the strange boy locked in the dungeons and wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. He turned up missing on the second night all three of them went down and Sirius couldn't help but worry. But the night after that, Remus had returned, looking weary, battered and yet pleased to see the other boys. 

"Where were you last night?" Sirius had demanded as soon as they had made it to Remus's cell. 

"Oh," Remus replied, looking down so Sirius couldn't see his eyes. "The guards wanted to ask some questions, that's all." Sirius would have pursued it further but the look in Remus's eyes told him to drop it. That's when Sirius truly took in his beaten up form and realised that the guards did more than ask a few questions. So he let the matter drop, not wanting to dwell on the topic any further.

Every night after that, they would bring him gifts of food and blankets and played games which often left them in fits of laughter. At first, Remus was nervous and shy, trying to get the boys to keep quiet in fear that someone would hear them. But soon enough, they all learnt that the guards would hardly ever come down into the dungeons and, because of the silencing charms that surrounded the entire basement anyway, the guards would never actually hear them. The only time when they did have to be careful was when Headmaster Rosier was around. 

Remus had already told them about how the Headmaster was coming down into the dungeons most nights to take someone away. Sirius could see the slight fear in his eyes as he explained that the missing prisoners never returned, were only replaced with someone different. "There doesn't seem to be a pattern," he whispered. "I could be anyone at any time."

"We'd come find you if you went missing," Sirius declared, glaring at Peter and James as if they'd argue.

"Of course we would," James huffed. "You're our mate, Remus, and that doesn't change just because you're stuck down here." The conversation ended after that as Peter pulled out many sweets from his bag, passing them around and chatting excitedly that he had finally managed to master wingardium leviosa in charms that day. Remus smiled patiently, congratulating Peter on his achievement, but Sirius only felt angry. Remus should have been telling them all that he managed to get a spell! He should be up in the classrooms with them and learning magic just like anyone else! The anger had made him quite sullen that night as he stared up at his bed canopy in his empty and lonely room, feeling miserable. 

It just wasn't fair. None of it was. And yet there was nothing Sirius could do about it. 

Deciding that it would probably be best if he gave up on sleep, Sirius wandered down to the first year common room to maybe do a bit of the homework that he hadn't handed in from two days ago. As he settled himself down on the large armchair, he suddenly heard the portrait door swing open and someone enter. The sound of soft footsteps on the worn carpet got closer as the person moved quietly through the common room, sighing and muttering about unsociable hours as they went. Sirius ducked down in the chair, hiding and praying that we wouldn't be spotted. For some reason, he got the feeling that the person really didn't want to be seen. Apparently the person didn't seem to notice him and proceeded to make their way up the boy's dormitory staircase. Sirius peered over the top of the armchair as the footsteps faded. 

To his surprise, it was James. Sirius managed to catch the back of his head as the other boy tiredly made his way up the stairs to the sixth floor. From high above, the door softly clicked shut and Sirius was once again alone. 

Strange, he thought. What on Earth was James doing out of bed at this time of night? It wasn't that Sirius was overly concerned, but he wanted to know what kind of mischief Potter might have been up to without the others knowing. Sirius hoped it was good because he could really do with some pranking to cheer him up. Maybe he should ask James in the morning, see if there was anything he could do to help? But then again, James would have certainly got Sirius involved if it was something he needed help for. Feeling more lost than ever, Sirius decided to let the matter slip from his mind for now and he resettled himself in the chair, letting his eyes fall shut and sleep taking him quickly. 

***

Sirius didn't mention the common room incident to James in the weeks that followed. Even if he wanted to, the boys hardly had anytime with all the assignments they had to complete. Professor Flint was especially harsh on them in transfiguration. It seemed to Sirius that all the teachers had favourites, usually Rosier, Snape, and Bulstrode who could do no wrong. James, who was clearly the best at transfiguration in their year, was almost always punished for the slightest things. Of course, James and Sirius would both cause mischief which led to Flint screaming until she was blue in the face. It had become a game of sorts to see who could make Flint's face change colour the most. Their laughing didn't help the situation but it was very much worth it.

But other times it was painful to anger the professor. James would often get a stinging charm sent his way for the slightest imperfection in his transfigured mouse tea cup. Sirius could have sworn there was nothing wrong with the tea cup and yet Flint always found 'something.'

James was certainly not a favourite of Flint, and James could say the same for the professor. 

But, even if Hogwarts was grueling and tiresome and sometimes plain cruel, Sirius was still happy. So much happier than he was at home. Now, he had friends that were like brothers, people who cared for him much more than his family ever did. He had James and Peter and of course Remus. Although Remus couldn't be with them all the time, the four boys had all grown inseparable. Many people commented that they were impossibly close in such a short space of time. There was a secret to it though. The one thing they all shared was a hatred for pureblood mania and that kept their bond close. But it meant things happened that were hard for all of them.

It was a cold October night when it happened. Sirius, Peter and James were all sitting in the Great Hall, eating supper with the other first years. The Third Year table was opposite theirs in the middle of the room. They were a rowdy lot, often shouting and yelling at each other in debates about creatures and blood status and politics. Sirius ignored them but those like Rosier and Bulstrode loved to listen in, trying to jump in whenever they could to gain favour with the older students. This particular night, the third years were bragging to Rosier, Yaxley and Bulstrode about their Dark Arts lesson that day.

"Avery took us down to the dungeons!" a third year named Harry Parkinson bragged to the first years. "Got special permission from the Headmaster and everything."

"He told us about the exam at the end of term," a girl said, Penny Clearwater. "Apparently we all have to pick a prisoner and use interrogation tactics to get them to admit to their crimes. It'll be wicked fun!" Sirius, who was feeling furious at his conversation, curled his hands into fists as he stared down at his plate. He could feel James tensing next to him but neither of them said anything, too sickenly fascinated to stop listening. 

"Avery told us to practice right there and then," Parkinson boasted. "It was a mock exam, of sorts. We had to pick one."

"What did you pick!?" Rosier asked, hardly able to contain his sick sense of excitement. "A mudblood? A creature? I so would have gone from some monster or something."

"Nah, mudbloods scream more," Clearwater said knowledgeably. She looked smug, as if she'd just recited a fact from a really hard text she'd read. "There was this redhead muggle-born that I picked. Bit of a challenge. She hardly screamed."

"That's because you didn't use any of the really hard spells," Parkinson told her. "A stinging charm will hardly do it." Clearwater only shrugged.

"Yeah well I've got a plan for her next time," was all she said.

"What about you, Harry?" Bulstrode asked, her voice going all girly and gross as she fluttered her eyelids at him. "Tell us all about what you chose!"

"Some kid," Parkinson said, waving his hand as if it didn't matter. "Weird, filthy thing. He was right in the end cell. Probably thought he could hide from us, the stupid mudblood. He was a strange one, though. Had scars all over him, like some sort of monster." Sirius had been taking a drink of pumpkin juice but dropped with goblet with a clatter when he realised who they were talking about. 

Remus, he thought. Oh god, they had been hurting Remus.

"Oi, Black, keep it down, would ya!" Bulstrode said across the table, her face flushed red with anger. "We're trying to listen here."

"Sorry," Sirius muttered but quickly stood up. James look up at him, reading the look in his eyes perfectly. 

"Let's go get that charms essay done," he said rather loudly, so not to attract any more suspicion from the group across the table. "Come on, Peter." Peter looked up from his food, the confused look on his face obviously showing that he hadn't heard any of the conversation. 

"But I haven't finished-"

"Peter, let's go," James said through gritted teeth. The other boy huffed in annoyance.

"Alright, alright," he muttered, standing up and following Sirius and James from the Great Hall. They practically ran up to Pureblood Tower, sometimes leaping from the moving staircases even before they had locked themselves onto a landing in their haste to get up to the dormitories. Once they had made it into the common room, Sirius charged up the stairs to his room, letting the others come in before locking it behind him.

"It was Remus," he said, hurriedly. "That bastard Parkinson was talking about Remus."

"I know," James said solemnly, taking a seat on Sirius's bed. "I heard, mate."

"If he hurt him in anyway," Sirius growled, pacing and stalking across the room in an attempt to release some of the angry energy that had built up inside of him. "God, how can these people be so sick? Getting a thirteen year old to torture an eleven year old boy?"

"Torture?" Peter squeaked. "You mean to say, you think Parkinson tortured Remus?"

"How did you not hear them talking about it?!" Sirius exploded at Peter. "Were you too busy inhaling your food to realise that those third years were talking about hurting Remus!" Peter shrank away slightly, too intimidated by Sirius's outburst to say anything in return.

"I've got to get down there," Sirius said, starting towards the door. "I've got to see if he's okay."

"Woah, mate," James said, leaping up from the bed and grabbing the back of Sirius's collar to stop him. "Hold up. We've got to wait till nightfall. We'll surely get caught if we go right now."

"Everyone is at dinner still," Sirius argued. "Now is the perfect time!"

"The moment you turn up missing, Rosier and Bulstrode will snitch on you in a moment," James reasoned.

"Remember the Headmaster is Rosier's dad," Peter said quietly. "He can get away with anything. If you give him a reason to get you in trouble, then he will." Sirius stood there for a moment, looking between his two friends before sighing. #

"Okay, fine," he said. "You're right. But as soon as everyone has gone to bed, we're going to check on Remus, okay?" James and Peter nodded.

"Definitely," James agreed. "Just wait until everyone is asleep and then we'll go." There was a moment of silence as all three boys suddenly contemplated the gravity of the situation. Before, yes they had been aware that Remus was locked up in a cell, but now they were hit with the harsh reality of the fourth boy's life here. He faced horrors that Sirius, James and Peter could only imagine. 

"I'm worried about him," Peter admitted suddenly in a small voice. "What if he's...what if he's really hurt? What do we do? It's not like we can take him to the school nurse..." If he was honest with himself, Sirius hadn't thought about it. He didn't know what Parkinson had done to Remus, or if it was even treatable. In the end he decided that it didn't matter. They could deal with it when they got there.

"He needs us," Sirius said. "So we're going to help him."

******************************************************************************************


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus makes a new friend but comes dangerously close to revealing his secret...

The girl in the cell opposite him had been crying for over an hour. 

Remus was sitting up against the wall, leaning his head against the bars to his left just listening to the poor girl sob her heart out. She was a redhead, about the same age as Remus himself, but she had only been locked up yesterday morning. The guards had come down with her between them and threw her into the cell that had previously been vacated just weeks before. The Death Eaters had obviously just caught the girl recently, or maybe she had been transferred here. Either way, she was terrified and hurt. That Third Year girl had picked on her quite a lot that day, sending stinging jinxes her way throughout the entire afternoon. Remus himself hadn't come out of it unscathed. He clutched his right arm to his chest where that horrible boy had held his wand. Even now, Remus could barely look at the wound without wanting to throw up.

The girl had stopped crying now. Remus could see her, curled up on the floor in the middle of her little cell. Swallowing hard, he slowly rose to his feet and pressed himself close to the bars. "Hey," he called out. "Are you okay?" 

The girl lifted her head and Remus was startled by her bright green eyes that shone in the darkness. She was quite pretty but her face was tear stained and dirty. Not that Remus cared. He was sure he looked a lot worse. As she wasn't protesting to his company, Remus decided to keep talking. "My name is Remus, by the way," he said, trying to keep his voice gentle. "Remus Lupin. What's yours?" The girl crept forwards to the bars so now it was only the corridor between them.

"I'm Lily Evans," she whispered, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. She looked up at Remus and gave him a weak smile. "I'd shake your hand but I can't be bothered to get up." Remus chuckled slightly which seemed to relax the girl enough to laugh a little too. 

"It's okay," Remus said with a kind smile. "Maybe some other time." Lily smiled and nodded, drawing her knees up to her chest. 

"So," she said, biting her lip. "What brings you here?" Remus raised an eyebrow at her but sat down, cross-legged on the cobblestone.

"Meh, same as you," he replied, keeping up the charade. "Just checking out this super 5-star hotel. Food's alright but the accommodation is a bit off if you ask me." Lily snorted, shaking her head in amusement.

"Yeah, well, you should have seen the last place I stayed in," she said. "It was a really dump." Remus titled his head to the side at that. So she had been somewhere else before, just like he had been. He wondered why they had moved her here then. For him, the last place couldn't...control his condition. Here...well, they had methods that helped with that. Besides, werewolves were rare these days and the school wanted one for 'academic reasons'. Not that Remus had experienced any of that yet.

"Where were you before?" he asked Lily, trying to not be too nosy but unable to hold back his curiosity. He'd never spoken to another prisoner before and Lily seemed really sweet. Anything he could do to make her feel more comfortable was worth it. 

The question seemed to subdue her though and she played with the hair to avoid Remus's eyes. "It was some farm in the country somewhere," she replied quietly. "They put muggle-borns like me to work there, sometimes working them until they're dead. It was horrible. I was only there for a month but that was long enough. They only caught me before I accidentally used magic to smash a glass at home. Apparently there are people who can tell when you use magic, like a tracer or something. They just appeared at my doorstep, these men with hoods and masks. My parents tried to stop them but they took me. I haven't seen them since." Remus listened to her story, feeling awfully sorry for this poor girl who had already been through hell. 

"I wish I could tell you it gets better here," he said to her. "But I think you've already figured out from this afternoon that it's just as bad. But don't worry. It's always easier with a friend to help you through it all." Lily nodded, wiping her eyes again to stop the tears. After a few shaky breaths, she gave Remus a watery smile. 

"What about you then?" she asked. "How long?" Remus sighed, looking down at his hands.

"I've been here for seven months," he said. "But I've been moved from place to place for just over two years."

"Two years!" Lily gasped, her hand going to her mouth in shock. "Oh my goodness, Remus that's awful!" Remus shrugged but he could feel the pressure building up behind his eyes. It had been ages since he thought of home, of the day he was taken. He would not think about it now, though. Not yet. 

"I get by," he said to Lily. "You learn how to survive in places like these. Speaking of, do you have any water in your cell? They should have given you some this morning at breakfast." Lily disappeared for a moment, melting into the shadows of her cell towards the back. When she came back, she held a wooden bowl in her hands half filled with water. 

"What's it for?" she asked. "Did you want some?"

"Oh, no, don't worry about me," Remus said. "I was just going to help you with those sting jinx burns. I always find that if I dab them with water, they calm down quite a lot." Tearing a bit of shirt off, Remus bunched it into a ball and threw it across the corridor. Lily grabbed it from the floor, sending Remus a grateful smile, before dipping the cloth into the water and dabbing it onto the burn across her collar bone. She sighed with relief as the redness started to fade.

"Oh, that feels much better," she murmured. "How on earth did you figure out to use water?" Remus gave her a meek smile, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He'd suffered numerous stinging charms himself over the years and so learning to adapt was kind of part and parcel of life. But he didn't want to tell Lily that this might be a regular occurrence, so he was about to open his mouth to reassure her but the sound of footsteps cut him off. Suddenly scared, Lily backed away from the bars to the back of her cell, trying to put as much distance between her and the newcomers.

"It's okay, Lily," Remus said, knowing those patterns of footsteps from anywhere,especially when his hearing was so heightened this close to the full moon. "It's alright. It's just my friends." As if on cue, Sirius and James appeared from the darkness, both carrying bags over their shoulders and appearing to be bickering about something. As soon as Sirius saw Remus, he rushed forwards, abandoning James. 

"Remus," he gasped. "Merlin, are you alright?" Remus looked at him, slightly confused.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied, subtly moving his bloodied arm behind his back. "Why wouldn't I be?" Sirius sighed with relief, running a hand through his hair. 

"We overheard the Third Years talking about their Dark Arts lesson," he breathed out. "It sounded nasty and...and I was worried about you." Remus felt his cheeks go red, his heart fluttering a bit. He wasn't used to people being worried about him. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time someone had spoken to him with such care in their voice. It almost brought him to tears, remembering what it felt like to be loved and not hated.

"I..." his voice faltered and Sirius immediately picked up on it.

"They did something, didn't they?" he said, his voice going cold. "Show me, Remus. Tell me what they did." It was then that his grey eyes zeroed in on the arm Remus had tucked behind his back. As quick as a viper, Sirius had reached through the bars and grabbed Remus's arm, bringing it towards him. Remus tried not to wince at the tightness of Sirius's grip on his arm, biting his lip to stop the small cry escaping from his lips. "No, Sirius, don't!" But it was too late. Drawing up his tattered sleeve, Sirius gasped when he saw the bloodied letters that were carved into Remus's skin.

"Remus..." he said slowly, his voice shaking with rage. "What is this?"

Across Remus's pale forearm were five letters, each one put there by a cutting jinx that had dug deep into the skin. The letters spelled out a word that Remus just wanted to flinch away from whenever he saw it. 

BEAST.

It was ugly and painful and Remus really just wanted to forget it. Deep down, he knew the cuts would scar and the reminder of what he was would always be there, but he had plenty of scars. What was one more? Besides, right now he was more worried about Sirius figuring out his secret by looking at the word.

"I-it's nothing," Remus said, pulling his arm back. "I've had w-worse."

"I don't care if you've had worse," Sirius said, his voice fierce and passionate. "You shouldn't have to take any of it at all. James. get over here!"

James hadn't been listening. He was, in fact, staring at Lily in the cell opposite, his mouth hanging open and his eyes fixed on her face. Poor Lily was looking extremely uncomfortable with the attention, biting her lip and averting her gaze so she wouldn't meet James's eyes. "Remus," she asked, looking to him. "Who is this creep and why is he staring at me?"

Both Remus and Sirius let out a laugh as James's jaw seemed to drop even further. "I'm not a creep!" he cried, scrambling over to Lily's cell and thrusting his hand through the bars. "The name's James Potter. I promise I'm not a creep. At all. Like, I'm never-"

"Okay, whatever," Lily said, looking James up and down with disgust. But she still shook his hand. "I'm Lily. Lily Evans."

"That's a really pretty name," James told her. Remus rolled his eyes but Sirius made actual barfing noises.

"James, mate, shut it," he said. "You're making me want to tear my eyes out. Come over here and leave the poor girl be. Last thing she needs is for you to be sticking your nose in where it isn't wanted." He paused, biting his lip as he assessed Lily. "I don't recognise you though."

"She's new," Remus said softly. "Came in this morning. It...it happens every so often. She's hurt too. The Third Years really went rough with her." Sirius hesitated again, looking from James to Lily to Remus. He then sighed, shaking his head and looking to the ceiling. 

"James, help Lily out with whatever she needs," he said to his friend. "And stop being a prat about it too. I'll help Remus."

"I told you, Sirius," Remus said as James rifled through his bag of food for something nice to give to Lily. "I'm fine."

"No, you aren't," Sirius said firmly. "Now give me your arm so I can clean those cuts. And no buts, Remus. Accept my help, you stubborn idiot." 

For once, Remus didn't protest. He sat crossed legged on the floor with his arm through the bars as Sirius cleaned the cuts on his forearm with some fresh water he had brought in a flask and some tissue. By the time the blood was cleaned off, the cuts somehow looked even worse, dug deep into Remus's skin. Remus looked away, his stomach churning at the sight of it. As if noticing his discomfort, Sirius dug through his bag and found a wad of bandages. Carefully, he drew Remus's arm closer to him, wrapping the material around the wound and covering it up.

"There," he said. "That should be good enough for a few days." Remus bit his lip, looking down at the floor. In a few days, there would be much worse wounds to deal with than the small gashes in his arm. But he couldn't tell Sirius that. He hated lying to his friend but Sirius would be much safer if he didn't know.

"Thanks," Remus whispered. They sat in silence for a moment, looking over to James who was making a fool of himself in front of Lily. He had practically emptied his bag, offering Lily all kinds of food and asking question after question. Lily looked perplexed and very much freaked out by James's enthusiasm and Remus couldn't help but chuckle at them.

"Thanks for helping Lily too," he said to Sirius who turned his attention back to him. "I appreciate it."

"Somehow I think we'll be seeing much more of her now," Sirius said. He looked back at Remus, a strange look on his face. "Remus, can I ask you a question?" Remus stiffened but nodded. "Why are you down here? Why did do you have 'beast' written on your arm rather than 'mudblood'?" Remus's mouth went dry. He couldn't answer that, at least not honestly. Time and again he had imagined scenarios of telling Sirius what he truly was but each time he always believed that Sirius would never want to be friends with him once be knew that monster he was. Even now, he could see the betrayal slowly sinking into Sirius's grey eyes. No. He couldn't do it. He couldn't risk losing the only person that was keeping him sane.

"I-I don't know," he answered. "I'm a half-blood, maybe he thought I was just some beast because of that. I really don't know, Sirius." It was a weak excuse, but tainted with a half-truth that hopefully made it more believable. Sirius frowned but didn't say anything more after that. Instead, he moved the conversation on to his classes and how he hated them, and Remus, looking back over his shoulder at the wall where he carved a line for each day he got closer to the full moon, was grateful for the distraction. There was still a few more days before he'd have to lie again. 

But that was okay for now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus faces the full moon whilst Sirius becomes suspicious of James...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this on my phone so please forgive any typos...I tried lol.

It was the afternoon when the guards came to get him.

Remus was sitting at the back of his cell, leaning back against the wall with his legs stretched out in front of him. His eyes were closed but his face tense with discomfort. It was the full moon that night and Remus was already feeling its painful effects despite the midday sun shining above the castle. His muscles were tight, especially in his lower back and legs. His head pounded with a heavy and intense migraine and, worse still, his lungs felt like they were on fire as his body prepared to make the transformation from boy to wolf. Any other boy would have long succumbed to the pain, but Remus was no ordinary boy.

Across the corridor, Lily Evans was watching Remus wince. She didn't know what was the matter with him, but had already tried to call out. He had only opened one eye and told her he had a headache then promptly ignored her after that. He knew Lily wasn't stupid though and so he tried his absolute best to keep his expressions of pain to a minimum. Worrying Lily would help no one.

But of course, he couldn't help it when the guards marched down the corridor and stopped outside his cell. It was a routine he was used to by now but the sight of the Death Eaters still sent shivers of fear down his spine. He opened his eyes and looked up at their faces, their eyes cold and hating. 

"Time to go," one said gruffly. "Get up. Now!" Remus sighed, pushing himself onto his knees before struggling to his feet. His knees and hips cracked and creaked, his muscles straining and trembling with the effort. Eventually, the guards grew impatient. One of them drew his wand, muttered a quick unlocking spell and marched inside the cell. He grabbed Remus by the back of the neck, ignoring his whimpers and cries of pain as he was dragged out of the cells and into the corridor. The guard threw him into the bars of Lily's cell with a clang.

"Leave him alone!" Lily yelled but quickly fell silent when the other Death Eater cast a sharp stinging charm her way.

"Shut it, mudblood!" He spat. 

"Don't call her that," Remus groaned from the floor but that earned him a harsh kick to the ribs.

"You'll have much worse than that in a few hours," snarled the first guard. "You disgusting half-breed!" Remus couldn't help the burn of shame that reddened his cheeks. He looked down at the floor, bowing his head to prevent any further harm from coming to Lily. He let himself be grabbed again and hoisted to his feet. One of the men held him while the other knelt down to remove the fake stone over the passageway. Remus just hoped that Sirius hadn't left anything down there that would give him away. He really didn't want to think about all the trouble the boys would get into. Luckily, as the guards shoved Remus down into the passageway, he could see no evidence of the boys ever having been there.

The two Death Eaters shoved him along, not caring for his aching muscles or creaking bones. Eventually, they came out into the open by the side of the castle. The Forbidden Forest was in sight, as were the ruins of a little hut that used to stand by it. They were met by two other Death Eaters by the door who hauled them up and started shoving Remus towards the Dark Forest. 

"Get a move on, beast," the guard snarled. Into the forest they went, and Remus felt himself getting colder and colder as the fear set deep into his bones. He hated the place they locked him in, he was terrified of it. That place had no mercy. None at all. As the forest got thicker, the air became heavy with poison and warning. Even the Death Eaters looked uneasy as they trekked further into the darkness. But their discomfort was nothing compared to the crushing, paralyzing terror that Remus felt squeezing at his heart like a fist.

All too quickly they had arrived. Deep in the forest, at the roots of one of the biggest trees, was Remus's own personal prison. It was much worse than any of the cells under Hogwarts. Dug into the earth was a pit, fortified with protection and strengthening charms to prevent the walls from weakening at the wolf's fury. Covering the pit was a trap door, again strengthened by spells and enchantments. It had been specially constructed just to keep the wolf controlled but out of the way from any wandering students. Out here, it was as far away from anything as it could possibly be.

One of the Death Eaters stepped forwards and opened up the hatch, peering down into the dark. He turned back to the group. "Alright, in you go, mutt," he hissed. Remus was pushed forwards against his will but he didn't struggle. He had long ago stopped fighting against them, knowing it always made it worse in the end. Once he was shoved down into the pit, a Death Eater followed him in and ordered him to back into the mud wall. Remus knew the drill by now. The Death Eater picked up some silver shackles that were bolted into the wall and turned to face Remus, grabbing his wrists and locking them in. Remus tried not to show any pain as the silver burned into his flesh. Once he was 'secured', the Death Eater stepped back and climbed out of the pit.

"See you tomorrow, mutt," he said with a nasty smirk. Then he slammed the trap door closed, locking it from the outside and plunging Remus into darkness. 

It was so dark, and so cold. Remus could feel himself shivering already. He slowly slid down the wall, curling his knees up and hugging his legs as he rocked himself. His body hurt, his wrists were searing, and all the while the dark seemed to be closing in on him. It was so suffocating. Remus could hardly breathe. The air refused to reach his lungs and he found himself hyperventilating.

"Calm down," he whispered to himself. "It's okay. It'll be okay. It'll be fine. Please let it be fine..." But despite his words, he broke down in tears all the same, sobs wracking his body. Not for the first time, he found himself thinking of his mother and wishing she were still here. He missed her soft touches, her gentle comfort. He missed the nights she would spend reading him stories of great heroes and amazing adventures. He missed her everlasting love.

But she was gone. And she was never coming back.

He buried his face into his lap, breathing hard, waiting for the moon to rise and for the wolf to take control for the night.

***  
Sirius was bored. He had spent the afternoon in the library, trying to complete his Dark Arts homework for the lesson tomorrow. If it had been any other teacher, he probably wouldn't have even bothered to do it. But it was Avery. The Dark Arts teacher had been getting even more evil with the punishments he handed out recently and Sirius didn't want to give him any reason to give him detention. The only thing was, he was meant to be doing his homework with James and yet the other boy hadn't shown up at all.

"Come on, Potter," Sirius muttered. "Don't abandon me here of all places." He glanced out the window and realised that it was starting to get dark. Dinner would be ready soon. Right on cue, his stomach rumbled, demanding to be fed. Sirius sighed, packing up his Ink and quill with his parchment and headed to the Great Hall.

Most of the other first years had already arrived when he got there and he slid onto the bench next to Peter. But James wasn't there. "Where's James, Pete?" Sirius asked the other boy. "Have you seen him?" Peter looked up from his book and shook his head, frowning.

"No, I haven't," he said. "Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen him since potions. Why? You think he's up to something?" Sirius didn't answer, looking down at the table just as the feast appeared. 

That was the question, wasn't it? In the past few months, James Potter had disappeared on them quite often. Sometimes he would vanish during the day then suddenly turn up again later that evening, claiming that he'd been studying or having a walk. Other times he'd disappear at night long after curfew and come back late, looking tired as he shuffled back to his bedroom. Sirius had no idea what James was up to, but he was certainly being suspicious about it. Whatever it was, James didn't want anyone else to know, not even Sirius and Peter. Which meant it was something dangerous. Sirius just had to figure it out, for the sake of James's safety. He had to help him no matter what it was. Afterall, he couldn't just let his best mate get himself killed.

As if summoned, the bench suddenly jolted and James heaved himself down next to Sirius. "Where the hell have you been?" Sirius hissed at him. "You had me and Pete worried about you." James reached forwards and started piling his plate up with food.

"I was just doing some homework," he said. "No need to panic." Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"You said you'd do the Dark Arts homework with me," he said. "I was waiting for you in the library all afternoon." James's hand froze as he reached for a dinner roll, his mouth hanging open.

"Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry, Sirius," James rambled. "I must have totally forgotten! I honestly wouldn't have left you if I had remembered! I was just so caught up with-" He stopped suddenly, cutting himself off quickly but Sirius spotted his hesitation. Even Peter looked up, looking at James questioningly. 

"Caught up with what, James?" Sirius asked. "Surely not homework." James looked around at the other first years, all of whom were preoccupied with their own conversations. "James," Sirius pressed.

"Nothing," James said softly. Sirius blinked but dropped the subject. It was obvious that James didn't want to talk about it. Maybe later Sirius could try and pry some more information out of his friend. But not now.

They ate dinner quickly and made their way up to the dorms early. Going down each night to see Remus and Lily really took it out of their sleep pattern and so often the three boys would nap until midnight before going down to the dungeons. Later that night, they all met up, sneaking down to the entrance of the secret passageway outside. Recently they had been using it to get into the dungeons as well as out, not wanting to risk running into the guards by going through the main prison entrance. They chatted as they went through the tunnel, reaching the ladder and the trap door. James went through first, pushing up the false stone and climbing up. Peter went next. But just as Sirius was climbing up, he heard a stifled gasp. He scrambled up the ladder, rising to his feet. He looked to Remus's cell and felt his heart plummet. 

Remus's cell was empty.

Behind him, he could hear James asking Lily what happened, begging her to tell him. She was shaking, curled up on the stone.

"They took him," she whispered. "The guards took him. I think..."

"You think what?" Sirius asked frantically. "Lily, you think what!?"

"I think they're going to kill him."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys desperately try to work out how to save Remus but figure something else out instead...

The dungeons had never seemed so cold. 

Sirius, James and Peter all stood gaping at Remus's empty cell. Each boy was imagining every terrible thing that could be happening to Remus at that very second while they stood there, unsure of what to do. Sirius himself was panicking to the point where he was pacing up and down the corridor. "We have to go find him," he said, looking at James and Pete then turning to Lily. "We have to save him."

"Are you crazy?" James asked. "We have no idea where he is!"

"We have to try!" Sirius cried. "I promised him, didn't I? I promised him that if he was taken that I'd find him and rescue him. I can't break that promise now." James sighed, running a hand through his hair and turning away. 

"Even if he could find him, he's going to be surrounded by dozens of Death Eaters," James said. "What are three kids that know no real offensive spells going to do against them? They'd catch us then we'd all be expelled. Maybe even something worse." Sirius stared at James, then to Peter who looked awfully conflicted. Maybe James was right. Sirius was thinking like an aristocratic pureblood, one that was treated like a prince with all the protections that came with it. James and Peter didn't have that kind of protection, not like he did. If they were caught, then there was no telling what would happen to them. Worst case scenario for Sirius was a slap on the wrist, and maybe even a repulsive letter from his mother congratulating him on wanting to get involved with torturing a mudblood.

He took a deep breath, his hand going to his forehead in defeat. "You're right," he said to James.

"Well, of course I am," James retorted. 

"You two go back to the dorms," Sirius said. "I'm going to find Remus."

"WHAT!?" James exclaimed. "Are you out of your mind?"

"They won't hurt me," Sirius said. "They wouldn't dare, or face the wrath of my parents. Believe me, no one wants to go up against them."

"Sirius, it's too dangerous," James said desperately. "Please, we can think of something better. We can."

"There isn't time!" Sirius cried, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "Remus could be being tortured right now! I need to do something! I can't just stand here!"

"James," Pete said quietly. "This is Remus we're talking about. I know he's not with us all the time but...but he is our friend. You said you'd always help your friends." James stared at Peter incredulously before his eyes softened. He patted Peter's shoulder, looking down at the ground almost in shame.

"He is our friend," he said softly. "And we should go after him. No matter the cost." Sirius looked at the two boys in front of him and was suddenly hit by just how lucky he was to have them. 

"Wait," a quiet voice said. All three boys whipped round to see Lily, still curled up and shaking in her cell. She looked up at them, her green eyes shining with tears but she slowly rose to her feet, her hands trembling. 

"Merlin, Lily, I'm sorry," James said, rushing towards her. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine," Lily said, her voice firm albeit a little shaken. "But I don't think you should go after Remus." Sirius gritted his teeth, closing his hands into fists at her words. James seemed to notice his anger and gestured for him to calm down.

"We have to go find him, Lily," he said. "He's our mate."

"You don't understand," Lily said, shaking her head. "You didn't hear what the guards were saying. You didn't see what happened."

"You told us that they were going to kill him!" Sirius exploded. "You can't take that back now!" 

"Will you just shut up and let me explain!?" Lily shouted. Sirius fell silent at her outburst, suddenly quite shocked at himself for losing it like that. 

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "Please...tell us what happened." Lily looked at him for a moment before turning back to James.

"It wasn't like when other people get taken," she said. "They didn't take him down the corridor like they take everyone else. They took him down the tunnel under the stone where you guys come from." Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Peter who also seemed to be on the same line of thought he was.

"I always wondered how he knew about that tunnel," Peter said, voicing Sirius's mind. "He's gone down there before, hasn't he?" Of course, they didn't actually know the answer to that, but Remus had always seemed to know a lot more than he was letting on. If he'd been down the tunnel before, maybe even regularly, then it would explain how he knew to send Sirius down there are a quick escape route. 

"There's one more thing," Lily said. "The Death Eaters who took him...well, Remus didn't seem surprised at all. He didn't even fight. It was like he knew it was coming. Even when they called him half-breed-"

"Wait," Sirius said suddenly, cutting her off. "They called him half-breed?"

"Yes," Lily said, her voice solemn. "When I was at the muggle-born farm, they had some...some poor people that they called 'half-breeds' working there too. Most of them were half-giants. But there was one...one who was a werewolf."

Sirius felt sick. His heart was slamming into his rib cage at such a rapid pace he was sure it was going to explode out of his chest. He looked up at James who also had turned pale and clammy, his eyes wide with shock and maybe the slightest hint of fear. How could Sirius not have seen this before? All the signs were there! All the clues and the hints had been plain to see and yet he'd missed them. He could remember all the lessons he'd had at home from his disgusting tutor, lecturing him on the dangers of beasts and creatures. But always had he hammered home the point that half-breeds were the most dangerous of the lot of them. Monsters that could pass off as human, as even a wizard in some cases, but inside were vicious creatures. 

Sirius should have put together the signs. Remus' scars, the lines scratched into the back wall of his cell, the way he refused to tell Sirius the truth of why he was in here in the first place, the word BEAST that Parkinson had carved into his arm, the full moon tonight... All the pieces of the puzzle slotted together. 

"You think Remus is a werewolf?" Peter squeaked. "A werewolf!? Are you mad?"

"She's right," James said quietly. "I mean, it makes sense."

"Then why didn't he tell us?" Peter asked. 

"Because he was scared," Sirius said finally. "He was scared of what we'd think." He glanced at the other three who looked at him, confused. "I mean, Remus has been in...in 'captivity' for so long. People hate werewolves. They call them dangerous and vicious and monsters. Some of them are."

"But not Remus!" Lily cried. "Never Remus! He's kind and thoughtful! He's been nothing but nice to me since I got here." She suddenly looked cross. "Don't tell me you three are just as prejudice as the awful people who put us in here?!" James looked at Lily sheepishly.

"We've all heard terrible stories of what werewolves have done," he said meekly.

"I don't care!" Lily said, stamping her foot. "Remus hasn't done anything! Oh come on, you all know just as well as I do that Remus wouldn't hurt a fly if he could help it! Oh, how scared he must be, having to transform out there alone! Don't you have any sympathy? Aren't you worried for what he might be going through?" Sirius had never thought about what it must be like for a werewolf to transform before. He supposed it must be dreadfully painful, all your bones snapping out of place like that. Suddenly, a wave of guilt washed over him. Was he really just thinking that Remus was a monster?

"They've obviously taken him some place for him to transform," Lily continued, breathing hard and her cheeks flushed in her anger. "They can't exactly have him transform here with all the prisoners. God...he looked really ill when he left too..."

"Lily's right," Sirius said suddenly. "Remus...Remus can't be like all the werewolves we've heard about. He's different. Besides, have any of us actually met a werewolf before?" Both James and Peter shook their heads slowly. "There, exactly. So how can we make a judgement then. I'm sure that Remus doesn't want to hurt us at all."

He watched as Peter and James looked at each other, a silent agreement going between them. "All right," James said. "All right, but we stay vigilant. Tomorrow, when they bring Remus back from wherever they take him to transform, we force him to tell us the truth. Then we can decide what to do." Sirius wasn't quite keen on the plan but he accepted it anyway, knowing that it was going to make James and Peter more willing to still help Remus as a friend. Truth be told, even Sirius wan'ted some reassurance that Remus wasn't planning to rip their heads off. 

"Okay," he said. "That's what we'll do."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius confronts Remus about his secret but finds that being a werewolf isn't all that he's been told...

When Remus woke up, he found himself crumpled on the floor back in his cell in the castle. He was lying on his front, his cheek pressed against the cold stone. It was obvious to him that he hadn't been here for too long, maybe only an hour or so. His body was trembling with post-transformation aches and pains that were only made worse by the coldness of the floor beneath him. Groaning to himself, he slowly drew his hands underneath him and pushed himself up on shaking arms. He managed to sit himself up against the wall and quickly looked over himself for any injuries that needed his attention. 

There was a gash against his ribs where he'd obviously clawed himself at some point during the night. He also had a few black and blue bruises against his shoulders and hips when the wolf had thrown itself against the walls of its prison. Other than that, he had the usual wounds around his wrists from the silver cuffs and in the palms of his hands where he'd closed them into fists as he transformed. He had tried to stop the habit, especially as his claws grew they stabbed into his palms. But the pain of the transformation always became too much to bear and he always ended up digging his nails in to distract himself from his mind slowly unraveling. 

In the corner of his cell sat a measly pile of bandages and a bowl of water. After every full moon, a guard would drop some medical supplies of some shape or form in his cell that never was quite enough to help but enough to make his life ever so slightly easier.

Remus sighed, crawling towards the supplies. He quickly glanced up across the corridor into Lily's cell, spotting her red hair within the straw she was given. She seemed fast asleep. Probably was too if it was as early as Remus thought it was. He moved his focus back to the bandages, tearing a small square off and dipping it in the water. Biting his swollen lip, he brought the damp cloth to the silver burns around his wrists, wincing as he dabbed them clean. Once he had finished cleaning those wounds, he wrapped the bandages around his wrists, trying not to cry out from the sting of the burns. To his dismay, he realised that he didn't have enough bandages for the gash on his side or the claw marks on his palms. He felt tears well to his eyes out of pure frustration but he forced them away. There was no point crying. He just had to make the best of a bad situation. 

His dipped the ragged bit of bandaged into the water again, lifting up his shirt and wiping the gash. It wasn't as deep as he'd first thought so perhaps he could get away with not wrapping it. Finally, he turned his attention to his palms, once again cleaning the blood away. Unlike his ribs, these cuts were pretty deep. But there was nothing he could do about them now so he turned away, unable to look. 

Huddled back in the corner of his cell, Remus looked across at Lily and tried not to think about how awful his life was. He hated negative thoughts. Negative thoughts had a horrible habit of spiraling out of control and Remus couldn't afford that. He couldn't. He just had to hope that one day, he might see the sun again as a free person.

He busied himself with arranging the straw on the floor for a few minutes, making himself a little nest where he could hopefully curl up and sleep for the rest of the day if he wasn't going to be disturbed by anyone. Sirius' cloak was still there as well and he drew it around himself to keep warm. As he pushed the straw up into a little mound, a scraping sound distracted him from his work.

The false stone was moving.

Irrationally, Remus' first thought was that the Death Eaters were coming back to lock him in that terrible hole again. His breathing quickened and he backed up against the furthest corner of his cell. No, he couldn't go back there. He'd only just escaped. Please, no, not again.

But as the stone was propped up and fell away, Sirius Black's head popped up from the hole. Remus immediately sighed with relief. "Sirius," he breathed as the other boy threw up a rucksack from below. "What are you doing here? Haven't you got lessons soon?"

"I couldn't sleep," Sirius replied, coming closer to the bars and sitting himself down on the stones. "I was worried about you. We came down here last night but you were gone and Lily told us the Death Eaters had taken you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Remus, now over his initial fear, also moved away from the shadows and sat opposite. He plucked at the loose threads from the rip in his trousers above his knee.

"They did take me," he said softly. "But I'm okay. They just wanted to ask some questions, like usual." Sirius looked him up and down, his gaze cool and calculating as he examined him. Remus almost felt naked, as if Sirius could see right through him. Apparently, he could.

"You're lying, Remus," Sirius told him. "I know you are." Remus snapped his head up, his eyes wide and shocked. His hands started shaking, his body trembling with fear and nerves. 

"What-what are you t-talking about?" he stammered. "I-I'm telling you the truth." Sirius sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Look, I know, Remus," he said, his voice sharp and accusing. "I know you're a werewolf." Remus immediately scrambled back, pressing himself into his back corner again and burying his face into his knees and hugging them tightly to his body. Blood was roaring in his ears, his heart beat loud and accusing. He could barely breathe as the weight of Sirius' words came crashing down on him. He hated him now. Remus could see it in his eyes. Oh God, he hated him. The only friend he had in this cruel world hated him. Remus had successfully messed up the only good thing he'd ever had.

"Merlin, Remus, I didn't mean to say it like that," Sirius was saying. Remus glanced up at him through his arms to see that he had stood up, clutching the bars. "I'm sorry, Remus. Please, come back and talk to me. Please." 

"How-how did you find out," Remus whispered. 

"A few things, actually," Sirius replied, a weak chuckle escaping his lips. "You are the only prisoner that ever comes back after being taken - and you're only ever taken on the full moon. You count down the days to the full moon on the wall over there and every guard or student calls you beast or half-breed. It wasn't hard to connect the dots once we had all the clues."

"We?" Remus' heart seized in terror again. "James and Peter and Lily know as well?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "But don't worry. We don't hate you Remus." He cursed to himself. "I'm sorry, I should have said that earlier. I promise, we don't hate you. Please, just come and talk to me." He dug through his bag and pulled out a sandwich, thrusting it through the bars. "Here, I have food for you."

"I'm not an animal, Sirius," Remus spat, anger suddenly coursing through him. Sirius looked mortified.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't think. I just thought you'd be hungry." Remus looked up at him, taking in Sirius' genuine and almost desperate gaze. Slowly, he crawled forwards again to the light but sitting a good distance from the bars so Sirius couldn't reach him just in case he decided to attack. Sirius was digging through his bag again, this time grabbing bandages and different brightly coloured potions.

"I stole these from the hospital wing," he said, setting them down on the stone. "I didn't know if you'd be hurt or anything so I thought these might help." Remus stared at them having never seen potions up close before. He wondered what it would be like to make them but quickly forced the thought from his mind. "I really am sorry, Remus," Sirius said. "I didn't mean to be so harsh. I just...well, I was angry that you didn't tell us...or me."

"I couldn't tell you," Remus said softly. "You'd be scared of me."

"But I'm not!" Sirius said. "I'm not scared of you!"

"Everyone is scared of me, Sirius," Remus whispered, hugging his knees to his chest. "I've never had friends before. The only people who have ever cared for me were my parents and I don't even know if they're alive anymore. I was afraid that if I told you what I am, why I'm locked up down here, you wouldn't want to see me anymore. When you guys are down here, for once in my life I feel normal. You talk to me about your classes or about Quidditch and you don't care that I know nothing about magic or favourite teams. You treat me like I'm worth just as much as you, even if that isn't really true. But people are scared of werewolves for a good reason. We're monsters...I'm a monster."

"You're not a monster," Sirius said defiantly. "I don't care what you think, you're not a monster. You can't help that you're a werewolf. You're only a werewolf once a month! I-" He faltered. "I thought I knew about werewolves. My mother and father always told me they were horrible creatures. But I've never met a werewolf until I met you so perhaps I don't know anything about you at all. But I'd like to learn, if that's okay with you." Remus stared at him. No one had ever asked him anything about being a werewolf. They all thought they knew everything and that was that. But here Sirius was, a pureblood and son of one of the royal households, sitting there and asking Remus to tell him what being a werewolf was really like. Remus didn't know how to react. 

"But not right now," Sirius spoke again. Remus was relieved that he didn't have to answer. His brain was so exhausted that he wasn't sure if he could speak another word. "I-um-I could help you with your injuries, if you'd like? They seem pretty bad and those bastards probably didn't help you."

"They gave me some things," Remus said weakly.

"Typical of you to defend them, Remus," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. "Come on, come here. I'll help you." Reluctantly, Remus scooted closer, leaning his head against the bars tiredly. Sirius gently took his hands, drawing them through the bars towards him whilst being careful of his wrists. He had picked up a purple potion and a clean cloth, dabbing away at the wounds in Remus' palms.

"This cleans them," he explained. "Otherwise they could get an infection." Remus grunted a little as the wound stung. "Sorry," Sirius said meekly as he wrapped some clean bandages around his palms. "Um, do you mind if I have a look at your wrists?" Remus shrugged and Sirius unwrapped Remus' hasty work from earlier. 

"Bloody hell, Rem," he whispered as he stared at the silver burns. "What the hell are these from?"

"Silver burns," Remus muttered, his eyes slipping closed. "From silver shackles...to stop me...getting to violent." He didn't see Sirius reaction but felt him pour more of the wound-cleaning potion on and re-bandage them. 

"I'll get you some burn salve when I can," Sirius was saying. "This...this is horrible."

"It's okay, Sirius," Remus murmured. "They stop me...from...hurting myself..." He didn't finish his sentence before exhaustion took over and he fell asleep against the bars. He didn't notice Sirius check the gash on his ribs or spread a yellow bruise healing paste over his shoulders and the top of his hips. He slept peacefully, only waking up in the evening after Sirius had long gone. 

But he did see a note that had been carefully tucked in his hand out of sight from the guards:

_You're not a monster._   
_S.B._


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Snape get into a fight. James finally confesses where he's been disappearing to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for taking so long! With covid and uni work I had to step away for a bit to look after my mental health. But thank you so much for your patience! I hope you enjoy the chapter! Please do let me know what you think!

"So I spoke to Remus," Sirius said, looking up from his homework on the arm of the common room sofa. Peter looked up from where he was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. He put his quill down, pushing away his transfiguration essay so he could give Sirius his full attention. 

"You went to see him, did you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said, frowning. "I did. I went down to see him after you two went to bed last night..." The look on Peter's face was one of concern and Sirius almost wanted to hug him for it. He knew that last night hadn't been easy on any of them but especially for James and Peter. As mischievous as both boys were, they didn't have the passionate rebelliousness against their family as Sirius did. Of course they didn't, their families were generally right about most things. Werewolves were always an open and shut case though, and most people agreed that they were highly vicious and dangerous monsters. But Sirius was always one to believe what he saw. And what he saw was Remus who was just a scared and hurting boy and not a blood-thirsty monster. Peter and James would take a little while to adjust but they would accept Remus just like they'd all accepted each other - and Sirius knew this wholeheartedly.

"How did he look?" Peter asked softly, keeping his voice down so Rosier and his goons across the common room wouldn't overhear.

"Awful," Sirius whispered in reply. "He looked...I've never seen anyone look like that before, Pete. He just... well, you've seen his scars. They had to appear somehow." Peter nodded solemnly, looking down at his hands in his lap. 

"I hate that the Death Eaters do that to him," he said, shaking his head sadly.

"The thing is, Pete," Sirius murmured. "Remus said... Merlin, I can't even say it out loud. He said that...it's him."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked. Sirius leaned forwards, his elbows on his knees as he ran a hand through his hair. 

"I mean that...he's the one who hurts himself," he whispered. "He told me...last night. They lock him up with silver shackles and leave him there till morning. You should have seen the burns on his wrists, Pete. Remus said that they stop him from getting too violent and hurting himself but that's a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. The Death Eaters are only trying to control him when he goes all wolfy, not keep him from hurting himself. But they've somehow made him believe that they're trying to help him even though he comes back looking like death. I just...it just makes me so sick."

Sirius finally looked up, seeing Pete who sat there with tears in his eyes and his mouth open in shock. He suddenly felt bad. Maybe he shouldn't have been as graphic. After all, Sirius was the son of two well-known Death Eaters who regularly are called upon to torture the Dark Lord's enemies. He had seen it first hand. But Peter hadn't. His whole life had been dedicated to keeping his head down. 

"Sorry, Pete," Sirius said, reaching out and laying a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to say it like that. I know...I know you're not good with this kind of thing."

"No, no, it's okay," Peter said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand roughly. "It's just that he's our friend. And I hate that he has to go through that on his own. I wish we could do something, anything, just to make it easier for him. But what can we do? We're just kids." Sirius opened his mouth to reply but the common room door opened suddenly, making him jump. James stumbled in, catching himself on the edge of a sofa and bending over with his hands on his knees.

"Made it," he gasped, grinning at Sirius and Peter like a maniac. "Made it!"

"Cutting it close, aren't we, Potter?" Rosier shouted from across the room, elbowing Yaxley who chuckled darkly. "Wouldn't want the prefects knowing that you've been out after curfew, would you now?" James shot him a glare.

"You can't prove it, Rosier," he snapped. "You'd be wasting the prefects' time and that wouldn't go down well, would it? Daddy can't protect you everywhere you go." Rosier leapt to his feet, his face bright red in anger. He started forwards but Snape shot out a hand and stopped him. 

"The blood traitor isn't worth it, Evan," he said snidely, throwing James a nasty look over his shoulder as he guided Rosier away. "Don't waste your time on him. His lot will only taint your pure blood if you get too involved."

"Shut it, Snivellus!" Sirius growled, rising to his feet and moving to stand next to James. Peter scrambled behind them, trying his best to look menacing in support of his friends. "You're one to talk about blood purity when you're a half blood yourself. Don't pretend that you and Rosier are any better than us!" Snape whipped around, his lips pulling back against his teeth in a nasty sneer. 

"You should know better than anyone what blood purity can do for you, Black," he hissed. "I'd hate for your mother to find out that you're hanging around with Potters and Pettigrews instead of those with true noble blood. At least I'm trying to live up to the honorable Prince name instead of ruining the bit of pureblood I have by befriending those beneath me!" Before James could stop him, Sirius charged forwards and tackled Snape to the ground. The two boys tumbled around the common room floor, swearing and shouting, throwing kicks and punches. Somewhere behind him, Sirius was aware that James had also launched himself at Rosier in an attempt to back Sirius up. He didn't know where Pete was but at that moment all he cared about was sticking his fist right through Snape's face. 

"You keep your fat, oily nose out of my business, Snivellus!" Sirius yelled. 

"Get off me!" Snape snarled, managing to land a punch right across Sirius' jaw. "Get off me, you blood traitor!" Sirius growled, now fighting with new strength and energy. How dare Snape threaten him! He didn't know anything about him! Sirius wanted to be brave, to say that what Snape had said about his mother didn't bother him. But the truth was, he was scared. Scared of what would happen if his mother found out about James and Peter and even, Merlin forbid, Remus. Snape has no right to threaten him at all. 

By this time, the rest of the first year students had crowded around the four boys fighting, circling them and chanting "fight, fight, fight!" As Sirius was momentarily distracted by the other first years around them, Snape took advantage by kicking Sirius off and pinning him to the floor. He raised his wand, which he must have taken out of his robes at some point, and pointed it right at Sirius' face. "Let's see if we can't permanently mark up that pretty face of yours," Snape spat, raising his wand to cast some jinx. Refusing to close his eyes, Sirius stared dead at him, gritting his teeth as he prepared for whatever curse Snape was about to fire-

"Expelliarmus!" someone shouted and Snape's wand went flying across the room...right into Peter Pettigrew's outstretched hand. Everyone fell silent, staring at Pete in surprise. Pete himself looked the most shocked, clutching both wands so hard his knuckles were turning white. 

"Brilliant, Pete!" James exclaimed from across the room, his nose bleeding and glasses crooked but grinning like a maniac from where he had pinned Rosier. "You bloody legend!" He didn't get to say much more because the portrait hole opened and Slughorn stepped through. His face was turning red as he scanned the scene in front of him. 

"What is the meaning of this?" He bellowed. "Rosier, Potter, Snape, Black! Stand up and right yourselves immediately!" The boys scrambled to their feet, quickly adjusting their uniforms and straightening their ties. "What on Earth do you think you're doing? This is not how respectable young wizards behave!"

"Black and Potter started it, sir," Rosier cried. "Severus and I were minding our own business when they jumped us!"

"Oh so you're a liar as well as a coward, Rosier?" James seethed, his hands closing into fists. "You wanna go again? Is that it, huh?"

"Enough!" Slughorn roared. "That is enough! You are wizards! If you have a quarrel, you dual like real men! Muggles use their fists, and we are higher than muggles, are we not?"

"Yes, sir," Rosier and Snape mumbled but Sirius and James remained silent. Luckily, Slughorn didn't seem to notice. Or perhaps he didn't care. Either way, he glared at them all once again before turning to Peter. 

"Mr Pettigrew, please return Mr Snape's wand to him," he ordered. Pete nervously moved forwards, holding out Snape's wand for him to take. The other boy snatched it from his hand but said nothing.

"Now, off to bed, all of you," Slughorn said, addressing the rest of the first years who remained frozen around the room. "You have classes tomorrow. Off you go." They all quickly collected their things, murmured quiet good nights, and headed up the stairs. Peter and James followed Sirius as he stormed upstairs to his room at the top of the tower. 

"Mate!" James called, huffing slightly as he tried to keep up. "Sirius, come on, slow down!" Sirius didn't listen, throwing the door open to his room and ushering the other two inside. He then slammed the door and locked it behind them.

"Stupid bloody Snape," he muttered, yanking off his tie and throwing it to the floor. "And Rosier too. Thinking they're so high and mighty. They're no better than anyone. They're worse, actually. All their talk of blood purity and whatnot when they're the ones who are messed up in the head." James had thrown himself onto Sirius' bed, Pete sitting tentatively next to him. 

"I get you, mate," James replied. "We need to teach those slimeballs a lesson. One they won't forget quickly. Something huge and spectacular that no one will forget." Sirius glanced over at his friend, grinning at the glint of mischief in his eyes. Even then, he could tell this was going to be the start of an epic prank. Maybe even the greatest prank in Hogwarts history. The three boys agreed that tomorrow they'd go to the library and research the spells they'd need for the Great Prank. Sirius had wanted to start right there and then but Pete reminded them that they were already in trouble enough. Slughorn would be keeping a close eye on them for the next few days so they needed to let him calm down first. But after that, Hogwarts was theirs.

They stayed up for another hour before Pete called it a night, staggering off to bed down the stairs. Once he was gone, Sirius saw his opportunity to ask James what he had been dying to ask all night. 

"Hey, where were you earlier anyway?" he said, tilting his head as he looked at James. James froze for a moment. He glanced up, eyes careful. 

"Just at the library catching up on homework," he replied slowly. "Los track of time." They were silent for a moment, neither boy daring to speak. But then Sirius cleared his throat, sitting up properly and crossing his legs.

"James, the library closes an hour before curfew," he said quietly. "So you couldn't have been there. Why are you lying to me?" James didn't answer. "Jamie, come on, you're my best mate. I'm not gonna be angry or anything. It's just...look, ever since we've got here, you disappear every so often. Sometimes for hours. I'm just worried for you, alright mate? I wanna make sure you're okay. So what's going on? Where have you been going?" James bit his lip, also sitting up. He quickly glanced around them, as if there was someone else in the room, then turned back to Sirus.

"What I'm about to tell you, you can't tell anyone else," James said lowly. "I mean anyone. Not even Pete. Certainly not Remus or Lily. You can't tell anyone. Swear you won't, Sirius."

"I swear it," Sirius replied solemnly. "I swear on my life I won't repeat what you're about to tell me." James nodded. He kept running his hands through his hair, breathing deeply. Whatever he was about to say, he obviously was nervous. Scared, even. Sirius wondered what kind of a secret could cause his friend such trouble. He supposed he was about to find out.

"Listen, you know my family aren't exactly...supporters," James said. "They hate You Know Who. They hate everything he and the Death Eaters stand for. But we're pureblood and that's afforded us some protection that others weren't so lucky to get."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius replied. "My parents are always on about your family's affiliation with muggles. I never cared, you know that." Biting his lip, James squeezed his hands together tightly. It unnerved Sirius to see his usually joyful friend looking like this.

"My parents are part of a secret organisation," James said, his voice almost a whisper. "We're called the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore runs it. You know Dumbledore, You Know Who's greatest ever enemy?" Sirius' eyes went wide. Dumbledore. The great Albus Dumbledore. Next to Lord Voldemort, Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard that had ever been born, maybe even more powerful. He was the one everyone thought was going to defeat the Death Eaters. The Order of the Phoenix were the only people who ever stood up to the Dark Lord. But they failed. They couldn't defeat the Death Eaters and Voldemort took over the magical world. 

"You're in the Order of the Phoenix?" Sirius exclaimed. "But...but they were all destroyed. Voldemort destroyed them!"

"He didn't find them all," James explained anxiously. "We went into hiding. Most of our members still are hiding. But we haven't given up. We never will. We're just...waiting for the right moment." 

"So what has this got to do with you disappearing then?" Sirius demanded. James winced.

"Well you see...I'm in the Order too, not just my parents," he murmured. "Dumbledore...he needed someone on the inside at Hogwarts. There's something going on here, Sirius. Something that Voldemort has been planning for years now. Hogwarts was always so high on his hit list so there has to be something about the castle that's special. Dumbledore wanted to find out why."

"So he sent you?" Sirius said, incredulous. "He sent an eleven year old kid as a spy? This dude is crazy if you think the professors won't find out what you're doing! Do your parents know what you're doing?"

"Dumbledore isn't crazy," James said sharply. "And no. My parents didn't want me to go. But I went to Dumbledore myself and told him I could do this. He seemed to agree. To be honest, he was planning on sending an adult to pretend to be a professor. But that was more risky. No one will suspect a student, even if they are a blood traitor. I was the best choice. So he arranged for me to get on the train that day. My parents know now but there's nothing they can do to get me out of here. Besides, I wouldn't let them. I have a job to do now. That's where I go. I try and gather as much information as I can and I sneak out of the castle to report to one of the Order. It's too dangerous to send a letter; you know the Death Eaters read everything we receive and send home. So I use a secret tunnel on the first floor behind a statue. It goes to Hogsmede where I meet up with an Order member and tell them what I know." 

Sirius gaped at his friend, his mouth falling open. James was a spy. An actual spy. And Order spy! Of all the things Sirius thought James was up to, he would never have guessed that. He didn't know whether to feel scared or thrilled or betrayed or ecstatic. Maybe all of them. Maybe none of them. But if he really thought about it, everything made sense. It explained how James seemed to know everything about what Hogwarts was like before Voldemort took over. How he always stood up for muggle-borns and halfbloods. Why he was always disappearing. 

"I...I don't know what to say, mate," he stammered. "You're a spy. If the Death Eaters ever found out..."

"They won't," James assured him. "Besides, that's the fun part of all this. Before I left, I stole my dad's invisibility cloak. No one ever sees me leaving the castle. And no one ever sees me coming back either. It's completely safe."

"No way!" Sirius gasped. "But they're so rare! Can I see it? Can I use it?! Merlin it would make going to see Remus so much easier!"

"That's the thing, Sirius," James said, his voice stern again. "With the information I'm getting for the Order, I'm hoping one day, maybe even soon, we can break Remus out."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is reckless, Peter is determined to feed them all, James declares he's in love, Remus makes a request...

For the first few days after he had told Sirius his secret, James couldn't help but worry. He trusted Sirius, of course he did, but having a secret as big as being a spy for a supposedly dead Order was dangerous. Really dangerous. And even though Sirius had proved time and again his hatred of his parents ideals, James had been strictly told by Dumbledore to trust no one. He couldn't believe he'd only lasted two months before spilling his guts.

They, of course, told Pete a few days later about James' extra curricular activities. At first, James wasn't so sure he should tell Pete, wanting to keep the number of people who knew about him to a minimum. It was actually Sirius who convinced James to tell their other friend.

"He's trustworthy," Sirius had said. "Come on, Potter. You know Pete! He loves you, buddy. Anyway, Peter could be useful! No one notices him at all, who better to ask if you need something done?" Even James couldn't argue with that. He knew he needed some allies.

Strangely enough, Pete had taken it more calmly than Sirius had. James almost felt the need to throttle him just to make sure he actually was aware of the dangers that came with knowing James was an Order spy. But Peter believed him, trusted him, and promised that he wouldn't tell a soul. Peter didn't speak to anyone but the two boys anyway, and had already proven that he was brilliant at keeping secrets, so James knew that he'd made the right decision to trust him.

But as the days slowly slipped into December, and the weather turned cold and bitter, James became more concerned not with his friends revealing his secret, but more with Sirius getting killed for his secret. It seemed that Sirius didn't care about his own safety at all and regularly would push the professors to their limits. If he was honest with himself, James wasn't much better. He and Sirius would play pranks and question the teachers on everything they said just to prove the point that they weren't conforming to their regime. But even they were quickly silenced by a nasty stinging charm or a langlock jinx. Once, Professor Flint got so furious at James' consistent pranks, she stopped him breathing for an entire minute as a punishment. Never in his life had James been so scared, but once he was released from the curse, it only made him more determined than ever to make every professor's life hell for their dark beliefs.

The thing was, James was more than willing to put himself at risk. It was what he had signed up for, what he had expected and what he definitely was getting. Even if he was tortured by Headmaster Rosier himself, he was confident that he'd never say a thing about the Order. But what he had slowly come to realise was he'd also put Sirius and Peter at risk. And although Sirius had passionately declared he'd never betray James, and Peter had sworn to secrecy, it didn't make James feel any less guilty knowing he would be responsible if either of his friends got hurt.

The other person on James' mind was Lily Evans. Ever since meeting the redhead down in the dungeons, all he wanted to do was talk to her. That was easier said than done. Lily didn't seem to like him very much. James was starting to think that even if she wasn't in a prison, she still wouldn't like him. He'd tried everything to get her to talk to him but she still refused. That didn't mean James was going to stop. Lily Evans was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and by Merlin was he going to marry her one day.

James had told Remus so when he and the boys had gone down to visit him and Lily, wrapped up together in the invisibility cloak. Lily was asleep when they got there but that didn't stop Remus from bursting into laughter as soon as James told him. "You're saying to me that you're in love with Lily?" he chuckled. "Merlin's beard, Potter. You are an idiot."

"It's not funny!" James exclaimed. "I'm serious!"

"No, I'm Sirius," Sirius replied with a cackle.

"Have you been drinking a love potion, mate?" Peter giggled.

"No!" James said. "I'm in love with her!"

"Oh James," Remus said, wiping his eyes free from tears as he laughed. "Don't ever tell her that! She'll murder you on the spot even if she is behind bars."

"Well, one day she won't be behind bars and she'll definitely murder you then," Sirius said, holding his sides as if they were splitting. "Merlin, Potter, you're a dead man."

"Well, I don't think it's funny," James said, crossing his arms and turning away from the three boys. It only seemed to make them laugh even harder.

"Look at him pouting!" Peter cried and both Sirius and Remus collapsed into themselves.

If anyone was looking, it must have been a strange sight to see. Four boys, three dressed in fine robes, one in rags. Three outside of a cell, one inside. Three learning magic, one denied that chance. And yet, they fell into a friendship that James knew even then was as tough as iron.

There was himself, the unofficial leader and mother hen of the group. There was Sirius, the fun-loving wild one with a fierce protective streak. There was Pete who was lovable and kept them all sane when they needed comfort. And then there was Remus, the smart, intelligent, unimaginably kind one. They fit together like a puzzle. Or they would do if the bars between them and Remus didn't block their way.

"We should probably get going, lads," James said, glancing at his watch and seeing the late time. "The professors will be making their rounds soon and we don't want to get caught." Remus' smile faded and the light died from his eyes at the words. But he put on a brave face and nodded.

"Of course," he said. "Be safe, you guys."

"We'll be back tomorrow," Sirius promised quickly.

"Yeah!" Peter agreed eagerly. "Mum's meant to be sending me some chocolate cookies tomorrow! Home baked and everything! I'll bring them down and we can all share." Remus' lower lip wobbled slightly and James wanted more than anything to throw himself through the bars and wrap his arms around the boy. Giving Pete a tight smile, Remus nodded.

"Save some for Lily too," he said. "She's had a tough time recently. Some chocolate might do her some good."

"Any food might do her some good," Sirius growled, glaring daggers at the empty wooden plate that sat in Lily's cell. This is what James had been talking about said Sirius was being reckless.

"We'll bring extra food," James promised, rising to his feet and making his way towards the false stone with the invisibility cloak folded over his arm. The other two boys followed him. Sirius flashed Remus a smile as he got up but Remus didn't return it. Instead, the werewolf pursed his lips together and looked across the corridor at Lily's sleeping form.

"Oh, before you go," Remus said tentatively, looking down at his hands which fidgeted in his lap. "I...um...I wanted to ask if you'd do something for me." James glanced at Sirius who seemed completely fixated on Remus. His friend's eyes were sharp and alight with the fact that Remus had actually requested something.

"Anything, Rem," said Sirius. 

"Well...this is a bit awkward to say." Remus scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks glowing a flush pink. "It's just...it's going to be Christmas soon. And Lily...Lily hasn't had a Christmas away from her family yet. She's really sad and upset about it. So I was just wondering if...um...if you could maybe think up of something nice for her? It doesn't have to be big or anything, just something a little Christmassy." James blinked. Christmas. After everything that had happened in the last few months alone, he had completely forgotten that soon they'd all be going home for the Christmas holidays. He'd be home with his parents and their loving embrace in just a couple of weeks. Had it really been that long since he had boarded the train in September?

His mind snapped back to Lily and Remus, the latter staring up at him with big, chocolate eyes wide with apprehension. Merlin, he'd never even thought about the fact Remus had seen at least two birthdays, two Easters, two summers, two New Years and two Christmases go past locked away by the Death Eaters. And he wasn't even asking for anything for himself, he was asking for Lily who had only been away from home for a few months but still was suffering for it. James was struck once again by just how bad it was down here, how lucky he was and how much he'd taken for granted.

To his left, Sirius and Peter seemed to be in just as much shock as he was. It was clear they hadn't considered the idea of Christmas either for Lily and Remus either. Sirius particularly looked almost heartbroken at the thought.

"We'll make a Christmas for you, Rem," he said, his voice cracking. "You and Lily will both have presents and food and the full works."

"I don't need anything, Sirius," Remus said, shaking his head. "I'm over Christmas by now. But just something for Lily. Please."

"You're both getting something," James said firmly. "It'll be earlier than usual, but I reckon we can rustle up something, can't we lads?" He stared at the other two boys with a gaze of such ferocity Peter almost melted beneath it.

"Sure, definitely," Pete squeaked. "We'll come up with loads of ideas before we go home for the holidays."

"I swear it," Sirius declared. "You and Lily are gonna have a Christmas, Remus. Nothing is going to stop me!"

"Shh, keep it down!" Remus hissed, glancing nervously down the corridor. "If you're gonna do this, just promise me it won't be anything too loud and suspicious." Sirius grinned wickedly.

"I can't promise anything," he smirked. Remus put his head in his hands.

"I'm going to regret this," he groaned. James smiled his famous mischief smile.

"Oh, I solemnly swear it."


End file.
